u know its hot when the tar comes off the road.  The traffic wears the road down and the highway dept. puts down sand or more gravel.  My vehicle gets gewy gunky tar balls under it.   so far we haven't had the heat.

 how the heck are all those seagulls making it here?? that mall concrete has to be hot and very little water. 

 

Don't panic when you see the corn fields burn to a crisp. They're supposed to do that. Really.

I've lived in South Texas all my life.  I don't know how I would have survived without air conditioning!!!

Summer pregnancy?  Oh boy!  August, 1995... I'm out to here pregnant with my 4th child and the a/c in our apartment goes out on a Saturday morning.  Guess what?  The a-hole management tells me that maintenance guy do NOT work weekends unless it's an emergency.  I tried to tell them it WAS an emergency... they didn't see it as such... Of course we'd used all our cash on stupid stuff like groceries and electricity so we couldn't go to a hotel for the rest of the weekend... Even though at the time, my husband probably would have robbed a liquor store just to keep from listening to me b*tch about how frickin' hot it was... The management was also anal about not letting me in the pool after 10 pm.... I would have climbed over that itsy bitsy 4 1/2 foot fence, but I was afraid of loosing my balance and doing damage to concrete..... I even began hating being pregnant... I called the doctor and asked if he'd admit me and induce labor!  No he told me, you have a few more weeks to go.... I'm not sure, but I think I called him a stupid M.F'ing S.O.B.... I was miserable.... beyond miserable.... when bedtime came around, I pulled all the covers off the bed..... put ice water in a spray bottle, and made the sheets damp.  We did have a fan in the room, so that helped.  I turned off all the lights, opened the windows and sprayed my body down with ice water.... I got some sleep, but I was not comfortable.  My husband took pity on me the next day, and we spent the majority of the day in the pool or at the mall... Monday didn't come soon enough.... I think even the manager was glad when my a/c was fixed because I'd quit b*tching.  I didn't have anymore kids after that.

Every summer I swear I want to move to somewhere cooler, but every winter, I'm so glad I live in a place that doesn't get 40 feet of snow before Christmas!

As a native Victorian, I feel compelled to tell you that you ain't seen nothing yet. It hasn't even begun to get hot yet sister. Three words for you: pregnant during summer. Try that. Remember, my daughter was born in September, so when I was my biggest, it was hottest. In fact, i remember sitting on my parents' couch one night covered in ice packs with two fans on me, full blast, watching the news [it didnt suck quite as much then]. Anyhoo, the forecaster said that August 1996 was the hottest August in something like 5 bazillion years. Greaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat. I'm about 500 months pregnant, it's 1020 p.m., and it's still 920 degrees. Good times! To add insult to injury, my then 13-year-old brother comes in the house, returning from a swimming party with one of his friends and says, "Man, you should've been there. That water felt so great!" Apparently, it was a temp controlled pool and they cranked it down about an hour or so before the kids arrived so that by the time they hit the water, it was nice and chilly. Bastards. After I had my daughter roughly six weeks later, I swore to move to Alaska if it ever got that hot again.

Yankee roots exposed!  Don't worry about it, the fun part is watching native South Texans when the temperature hits 50 degrees.  That's about when they start wearing gloves and overcoats.  I haven't worn a winter coat in South Texas since I moved here from Yankee-land a few years ago.  I learned to live with the heat pretty quick because there ain't nothin' I can do about it.  Hang in there, April, you'll do fine.

Yeah, it's hot. But living down this way for around 50 years use to it. Raised down here without AC. But now that I have had it for a few decades you go, geeezzz, was it always this hot?

 

Yes, it was. Just was use to it, raised with it, and much more adaptably younger. ;)

 

I’ve had two unpleasant experiences with summer heat.

 

One summer, the window unit that cools most of the house gave up the ghost in AUGUST. The landlord was out of town, so we lived in misery for over a week. The second time was when Hurricane Claudette forced to live in a primitive state for ten full days. The only thing worse than not having air-conditioning in the summer is not having electricity to run fans or fridges. Nobody killed anybody in the house, so I guess familial bonds are strong enough to overcome nature. Of course, that’s an extreme condition for us modern folks. We all wonder how our forebears lived like that, but it’s also worth knowing that their houses were built for maximum circulation. In any case, the only thing that saved the South from depopulating entirely was the invention of the air-conditioner. After that, census reports show that people began moving here voluntarily.

 

How do I deal with the heat on a routine basis? Anti-perspirants and baby powder are the first things I reach for when I awake, and the last thing, too, before I go to sleep. Just because I’m sleeping doesn’t mean I’m going to quit sweating. I powder liberal amounts under my arms, my neck and feet,  and my nether regions. My daily attire is shorts, sandals, blood-donor t-shirt and a bandana around my neck. Carry a small towel at all times to wipe the moisture off your face. When you’re sitting down, keep a glass (GLASS glass, not a plastic drinking glass) of ice water between your legs to cool the blood circulation. You can also try moistening a washrag and putting it in the freezer. Take it out, put it on your head and hold it in place with a hat.

 

You probably already have a window screen for your car. I keep a heavy towel on the seat to keep from sweating all over the upholstery. When you leave the car, drape the towel over your steering wheel so it doesn’t melt with the windows rolled up. I sit with a towel indoors, too. In fact, I have to sleep on top of one. I cover my pillow with half the towel and drape part of it over my head so my arm doesn’t stick to my head while sleeping. The other half keeps my back from sticking to the sheets.

 

Here’s a useful bit of advice I’ve never seen in Hints From Heloise. You’ll be needing a lot of ice if you follow my plan for keeping cool. Always keep a cooler in your car trunk to put the bags of ice from the store. Otherwise, by the time you drive ten blocks it’s already melting (who isn’t?). When you stick your hand in the ice bucket to fill that glass you’ve been keeping between your legs, all you’re gonna get is one huge congealed block that requires the savagery of Sharon Stone with an ice-pick.

 

Hope this helps. One more thing: Pray for rain, or at least cloud cover.

> Just laughed so hard I got tears in my eyes on this one.  Had to share

> it with you all!!
>
> Living in Texas
>
> May 30th
>
> Just moved to Houston. Now this is a city that knows how to live!!
>
> Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! I watched
> the sunset from a park lying outside on a balmy night. It was
> beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
>
>
>
> June 14th
>
> Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an
> air-conditioned home with a pool, drive an air-conditioned car,
> What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this.
>
> I'm turning into a sun worshipper.
>
>
>
> June 30th
>
> Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus
> and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing the lawn for me.
> Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
>
>
>
> July 10th
>
> The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used

> to  this kind of heat? At least it's kind of windy though. But getting

> used to the heat and humidity is taking longer than I expected.
>
>
>
> July 15th
>
> Fell asleep at the pool (got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body).
> Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson
> though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
>
>
>
> July 20th
>
> I missed Morgan (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this
> morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Morgan had died
> and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $2,000
> leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now
> smells like Kibbles and s***s. I learned my lesson though. No more
pets in this
> heat.
>
>
> July 25th
>
> The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And it's
> hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC
> repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order
parts.
>
>
>
> July 30th
>
> Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. $1,500 in damn
> house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
>
>
>
> Aug 4th
>
> Feels like it's 125 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed
> today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85, but this
> freaking  humidity makes the house feel like it's about 95. Stupid
> repairman. I hate this stupid city.
>
>
>
> Aug 8th
>
> If another wisea## cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to
> strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the radiator is
> boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
>
>
>
> Aug 9th
>
> Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the
> black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my a## was on fire. I
lost 2
> layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and a##. Now
> my car smells like burnt hair, fried a##, and baked cat.
>
>
>
> Aug 10th
>
> The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and sunny.
> Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do ANYTHING for 2
> damn  months and the wise a## weatherman says it might really warm up
> next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn desert? Water rationing
> will be next, so my $1700 worth of cactus just might dry up and blow
into the damn pool. Even
> the cactus can't live in this damn heat.
>
>
>
> Aug. 14th
>
> Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to a 115 today. I forgot to crack
> the window and blew the damn windshield out of the car. The installer
> came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?"
>
>
>
> My wife had to spend the $1500 house payment to bail me out of jail.
>
> Freaking Texas!
>
 What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?