Which shouldn't, of course, be confused with the Great Hair Dye Atrocity of 2004, or the Mystery Hair Color of 2001. And we won't even mention the 2002 "I said Winona Rider, not Billy Ray Cyrus!" mullet haircut, which practically ended my social life as we know it.

Yes, sadly, I am one of those women who is constantly changing her hair, particularly the color. It started innocently enough my freshmen year in college when my roommate suggested I throw in a few blonde highlights "just for fun."

Almost eight years later, I still hate her guts.

That innocent act has resulted in soon to be a decade of reckless regard for my own follicles, of hours spent in the bathroom painstakingly pulling hair through a cap, of even more hours waiting at the hair salon for them to magically turn my pink and orange hair back to a respectable color.

Oh the folly of youth!

See, being a reporter (re: poor), I can't afford this schizophrenic hair routine I am now used to and so I generally dye my hair myself. And while I like to think I've become quite good at it, even I still make mistakes...horrible, horrible, zebra-striped, blotchy, colors-not-found-in-nature mistakes.

But before I get to that, let me take you through a brief journey of my hair coloring adventures.

Exhibit A: This is probably the closest shade to my natural hair color (although being that I haven't seen my natural hair color since 1999, this is pretty much a crap shoot):

 And here is my various shades of blonde phase:

The oh-so-sexy overzealous highlighting phase:

The not-too-long-ago dark red phase:

Which was quickly followed by the horrific, faded out, I-look-like-Bozo-the-Clown red phase:

(In which, no pictures were to be taken of me upon pain of death).

And of course, no one can forget what I like to call "The Elvira Phase":

(Gee, who would have thought pasty white skin plus black hair equals living dead?)

Well, you'd think after all that I would learn but no. Last night I got that old hankering again for the smell of hair-killing chemicals and I bought me a highlighting kit. On the box, a beautiful young woman with dark, brown hair (similar to the shade I currently have...well, had...(sniffle) was smiling on the box, surrounded by beautiful caramel colored highlights.

So I bought it and Ta-Da! Only a few hours later I had a shade of hair that can only be described as (insert sound of someone upchucking here).

Even though I followed the directions to a T, I ended up with highlights that vary as much in color as they do in consistency. I believe it's what the professionals call "zebra-head." Which is why I am wearing a hat today at work. And why I fully intend to head to the store as soon as I can sneak away to buy some sort of dark shade to cover this atrocity.

And so, the moral of this story? If you have follicle ADD like I do, please seek help. Tell your parents, a friend, a teacher. There is a cure to this disease and it's called a hair stylist, who will tell you in no uncertain terms that you can't go from Amy Winehouse to Marilyn Monroe in one day.

Make your appointment today. And remember, you are not alone.

Okay, so there's been a lot of discussion going on as of late on the Advocate Web site in regards to sex education and teens having sex in general.

Well, considering my school sex education consisted of "This is a condom, which you will never, ever use cause sex is wrong," I can't really contribute to the ongoing conversation.

I can, however, share with my older readers a funny Web site I found that deals with sex in a humorous way.

It's called "The Midwest Teen Sex Show," which mixes humor, sex and a little bit of real world education.

It's a little "The Daily Show" mixed with "The Kids in the Hall" (ha! remember that show?) with a dash of "Strangers With Candy" (ha! an even more obscure reference!). Basically its the love child of the intelligence of Jon Stewart fornicating with the crass humor of Kevin Smith.

Now, I'll admit its not for everyone. Those not as comfortable with sexual topics will probably hate it.

My guess is that their target audience is more of the college-aged crowd, or older viewers with a sense of humor. The site itself says that if you are under 18, ask your parent's permission first before watching and its definitely not the place you want your 11-year-old going to for answers.

But in addition to the Webisodes that deal with various aspects of sex, it also has discussion forums and other features that allow people to ask and get answers about real sex issues, from where to find condoms to abstinence.

If you're curious to find out more about how this odd, little idea became such a huge hit on the Internet, below I have copied a transcript of an interivew with the creators from ypulse.com:

Ypulse: What inspired you to create the Midwest Teen Sex Show?

Guy Clark: My favorite podcasts are educational and having grown up in the Midwest, I knew that sex education was lacking a voice that connected with teens. On the practical side: As a struggling filmmaker, I was keeping a close eye on the world of web video as a potential venue for my work. When podcasting hit, I saw an opportunity to create an ongoing show that would drive a consistent audience.

Mixing humor, sex, and a bit of real world information was exactly the kind of show I wanted to see online, and fortunately Nikol, Britney, and our viewers agreed.

YP: What is the most asked question you get from your viewer email?

Nikol Hasler: Our most frequently asked question in emails is "Am I normal?" It is a resounding theme. The ideas surrounding vary from body image, fantasies, desire or lack of desire for sex, all the way to fear of talking to their parents. The important thing to note is that all of them seem to be looking less for someone to tell them the answer, and more for someone to let them know there is someone they can tell this stuff to who isn't going to judge.

YP: What reaction to the Midwest Teen Sex Show surprised you the most?

NH: Some people have noted a rash.

GC: The massive popularity of the show came as an initial shock. It's surprising just how much teens and adults alike were craving for sex information that was handled in a more honest and entertaining way than what was out there already.

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Well, France, you've done it. Thanks to you, women throughout the world will now have to find a new way to make themselves feel bad. How dare you try and pass a bill making it illegal for magazines and advertisers to promote extreme thinness. I mean, what are you trying to do? Raise our self esteem? The nerve!

For the sarcastic impaired, I'm being, um...well, sarcastic. Actually, I think its a potentially good idea that someone, even if it is France (motto: "We hate stupid Americans") is finally doing something about the extreme thinness craze that has pervaded mainstream media since, well, for as long as I can remember.

 If you haven't heard yet, according to a recently posted CNN.com story, France's lower house of parliament has just adopted a bill that bans Web sites, magazines and other organizations from "inciting extreme thinness."

Of course, many in the fashion industry are against this bill, (surprise, surprise) which will go to the French Senate in coming weeks. Fashion leaders are saying that they are opposed to legal restrictions on beauty standards. Although I'm guessing these fashion leaders don't find a 5'11" woman weighing 64 pounds offensive since they too probably only weigh as much as my left thigh.

While the journalist side of me thinks this bill might border dangerously on censorship of expression and art, which I am firmly against, the woman in me is going "Yippee!" I mean, I can't even pick up Vogue without hating my thighs within the first 30 seconds of flipping through the pages (which is quickly followed by chowing down a pint of ice cream in a defeatist attitude of "oh well, I'll never look like that...may as well punish my body further").

 Is it fair to put legal restrictions on beauty ideals? I guess that is the question put before France's government. And their decision could place a precedence for other countries thinking of passing similar bills.

While I'm torn on the issue, my biggest fear is that should this debate hit American shores, the rice cakes will really hit the fan. Because in true American style, I'm afraid that once we ban skinny models, banning other things may follow. And as much as I loathe watching young girls starving themselves for a ridiculous beauty ideal, I'm much more afraid of the government dictating to us what is or is not acceptable in yet one more aspect of our lives.

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And we thought the newsroom atmosphere was stressful.

In "whodathunkit" news today, it seems that blogging can be bad for your health. Yes, with the Internet ever changing the way the world works, it seems the stress of 24/7 information access has been having an adverse effect on hardcore bloggers...specifically death.

According to an April 6 New York Times article, two prolific bloggers have recently kicked the bucket, both dying of heart attacks. It seems the demands on these professional bloggers began to affect their health as they tried to keep up with the digital Joneses.

The article goes on to say that with round the clock news dissemination and a high demand to be the first to break industry news (whether technology, celebrity sports, politics, etc), many paid bloggers are feeling the affects of trying to make sure they never miss a story, which is leading to sleep disorders, weight gain and loss and massive amounts of stress.

I have to admit, the first time I read this, my reaction was "You can get paid good money to blog?...What the...Why am I still in the newsroom?"

But after quickly realizing my boss would probably be reading this, I came to the conclusion that the newsroom is the best place in the world to work and I'm lucky my behind hasn't been fired (right Chris...right?...hello?...crap).

My second reaction was, dare I say, a tad skeptical. I realize that two bloggers recently died, but isn't it stretching it a bit to try and connect them to an epidemic of death by blogging?

Wouldn't a better story be to focus on our overworked, stressed out, multi-tasking day-to-day lives that almost all professions seem to embrace? I mean, out of all of the careers out there I would think blogging in your home office can't quite compare with the stress police officers, or surgeons, or lawyers, or soldiers, or even teachers (especially in this post-crazy 3rd graders planning teacher attacks era) go through day-to-day.

 Not to knock what good bloggers do (note the use of the word "good"...I'm not talking about the bloggers who can barely form a sentence or pass off rumor as fact). But I just don't buy this death by blogging, digital sweatshop picture the New York Times is painting. I think the issue is much larger than a celebrity blogger stressing out that he wasn't the first to break the shocking news of Nicole Richie finally eating a grape.

Maybe we just need to all collectively take a chill pill as a society and realize that world will not, in fact, stop turning if we turned off our Blackberry's for a bit or miss a deadline (not that I ever would, boss...or did last week).

Maybe it's more Death by New Societal Norms than anything else.

And by celebrity, of course, I mean me.

Okay, so I'm not "technically" a "celebrity" but for just one night, I will be one. See, Hastings Hardback Cafe is celebrating April being Coffee Month and each Thursday they are featuring happy hour from 6-8 p.m., complete with coffee samplings, special prices, drawings for prizes and celebrity baristas (ME!).

These "celebrities" include local TV, radio and newspaper personalities and since I've spent approximately $9 billion there purchasing coffee almost every day, I think they just decided to throw me a bone.

The event is also trying to raise money for local charities. Being that I am in the writing business, I chose the Adult Literacy Council (and not just for job security but because I also think it's a great program).

So, if you get the chance this evening, from 6-8 p.m., stop on by Hastings, buy some coffee, enjoy some music and conversation and watch me spill hot coffee all over myself and unfortunate customers. And if you're feeling generous, donate what you can to the Adult Literacy Council.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go get some Botox and eat some BonBons before my big gig tonight. Ah, the life of a celebrity.

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Can you name roughly how many American military personnel have died in the Iraq war so far?

If you can, well, you are in a small minority, my friend. According to a recent poll by the Pew Research Center, only 28 percent of people polled got the correct answer(approx. 4,000 deaths).

Regardless of how you feel about the war and our government's intentions over in the Middle East, I find it shocking that most people from either spectrum simply aren't following the war. Media coverage of the war is down and only 6 percent of people polled said it was the news story they were following most closely.

It seems we, collectively as a society, have kind of forgotten we're at war.

But one veteran is trying to change all that and trying to do it through music. According to a New York Times column by Rob Walker, young war veteran Sean Gilfillan started To The Fallen Records in an effort to get Americans to remember that there's kind of a big deal going on overseas.

Using songs created by soldiers and veterans, the independent label is hoping to narrow the gap between civilians and soldiers and give them a front line view of the war. Gilfillan said his motivation behind starting the label was his shock at discovering the war, now in its fifth year, has not aroused the country's support, debate or protest.

 "Most people seemed more likely to have to have a strong opinion about Britney Spears than about Iraq," the article states.

Personally, I think this is a great idea. Will it work? Sadly, probably no. If people aren't really invested in the war, then they are even less likely to invest in music about the war. But I'm hoping that just people hearing about what this vet is doing will arouse some strong feelings, either one way or the other.

And hopefully America will rouse itself out of its complacent stupor to at least remember we are at war, whether we like it or not. And even more hopefully, maybe once we remember, we will feel compelled to let our feelings and opinions be voiced and voiced loudly.

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Hey parents! Tired of your child not growing up fast enough? Embarrassed that they actually act their age? Are vulgar T-shirts with slogans like "Future Stripper" and "Stop Staring at my Training Bra" just not cutting it anymore?

Well, then do I have good news for you. It seems some ingenious (and by that I mean morally bankrupt) toy manufacturer has come up with temporary lower back tattoos for children!

Otherwise known as "tramp stamps" now little Suzy can sport a trashy, fake tattoo with her low rider jeans as she heads off to pre-school.

God Bless America.

Sadly, I'm not making this up. It seems Toys 'R Us have started selling these temporary tattoos. And while I myself sport some ink, I find this new development in bad taste.

One, lower back tattoos have quite a negative reputation already in the adult world. They are the permanent equivalent of wearing the strings of your thong higher than your pants.

And two, little kids already have enough pressure to sport the Britney Spears/Paris Hilton look. The last thing they need is more ways to make them look way older than are.

Man, I never thought I'd say this but I miss the days when wanting to be older just meant finally being allowed to wear lip gloss.