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Throughout my 40-something years of life, I can count on one hand the friends I've had that I considered "best friends".  Those who loved me warts and all:

My childhood friend Kara - we met in the 2nd grade and were inseperable for years.  Even when she moved away, there were regular letters exchanged back and forth.... in the summer, she would come spend time with me or I'd go spend time with her.  She taught me the importance of make-up and told me what "french kissing".... We were polar opposites -  she thin, tall & blonde, me brunette, chubby.  she had 2 sisters and I had none.  She didn't like her step-dad, I adored mine.  During her senior year of high school, she went on to other things and left me behind.  I think we just out grew each other and I've seen her once in the last 15 years. 

Then there was Teresa from High School.  We met the first few weeks of freshman year in English class.  I was the new kid in town, lonley, overwhelmed, miserable.  She walked up to my desk and said:  "Listen here newbie, that's my seat".... as I mumbled an apology and started to move, she laughed and said:  "Just Kidding".... we grew from there.  We were always doing things together and always talking about our "future husbands"... She was going to marry my brother, Richard, and I was going to marry Stanley Hopkins Peavy, III.... we'd live in the same town and our children would be best friends!  Teresa and Kara even met and were friends thru me.  After high school, we sort of drifted apart.  Life happens.  She graduated from college, got married, had 2 beautiful children and still lives in the same town.... we still exchange Christmas Cards, the ocassional letters, and a few emails. 

Karen was a friend I met when I lived in Houston.  Her "live in" boyfriend and mine, bowled on the same league.  We started a weekly poker game and laughed a lot.  Her boyfriend was a jerk and treated her badly.  I tried to help her and she repaid me with the worst kind of betrayal.  Even now, nearly 18 years after the fact, it is too painful to discuss. 

Then there was Sara* (this name has been changed to protect the innocent)  We met about 12 years ago when my youngest son was an infant.  We lived in the same neighborhood.  We really didn't have much in common except our kids were close in age.  But we became close.  At least 2 or 3 times a week we would get together and play cards, or go to lunch or breakfast.  We had a tradition that on the first day of school every year, we'd drop the kids off at school, and then go to Village Inn or Ihop for breakfast.  Sara was there for me during my worst times... she held my hand before I went into surgery and was there when I woke up.  When her youngest was born, I was right there with her... both of us cried on each other's shoulders or bent the other's ears with frustration at the kids or when our husband's were acting like jerks.  We laughed and cried, and b*tched and celebrated together.   Our kids called us "aunt", and we each had the other listed as emergency contacts.  We'd talk on the phone or see each other every day.  Then, it was once a week.... twice a month.... last summer, the calls and emails slowed to a trickle... 2 months went by and we didn't see each other.  After my granddaughter was born, there was a renewed effort and our families spent New Year's Eve together....In March, she forgot my birthday so I called to tease her about it.... she never called me back... Later that month, I was really going thru a hard time and needed a friend.... she didn't call me back.... In April, I found out I had some serious health issues and reached out.... no call back, no email, no nothing.  I went to go see her one day about 2 weeks ago.  I had the grandbaby and my oldest daughter with me.  The tension was palitable.  I knew something was wrong, but didn't know what.  When we left that day, Sara hugged and kissed everyone -- except me!  I got the message, but didn't understand why I was getting it.  A few days later I got an email from her telling me that she has been ticked off at me for the past 3 months, and proceeded to tell me why.... I had, very unintentionally, done something that she felt was a betrayal.  A series of heated emails was then volleyed back and forth... nothing was really accomplished.  So yet again another long term friendship dies.....

Sara, I will miss you and the kids very much.  I have apologized to you for my unintentional blunder, and wish nothing but the best for you and your family.  I'm always here for you and you know it.