It’s been an emotionally draining time for me. This whole “going to war” thing is starting to take it’s toll from my emotional cookie jar. I blame the war but the truth is I am doing this to myself. I have never been to a place where people would rather see me dead then alive so just in case I have been making amends with loved ones just so my soul can wonder freely without the pain of unfinished business. With that in mind I wrote a few letters; two to my family explaining what my brother and I had discussed about my material goods and one explaining what to do if I should be captured. The other letter went to my ex-wife, which is where this blog begins.

The letter I sent was pretty straightforward with its instruction. My intent was to give her ammo incase the press or someone else came snooping around if I was captured. I also requested a meeting face to face just to make my peace and cure the rift between us. To make a web log not so long we ended up on the phone after a mis-sent e-mail from her mother and we agreed to meet for a long lunch with the caveat the we would not discuss politics, religion, or sexual preference.

Can you imagine what my first thought was? Being the supposed superficial male I am and our history I thought to myself…well, it’s not important. Just bend at the knee and jump to conclusions. My second thought was “Why?”. Then, as though I were thinking out loud she pointed out our previous meeting, which took place over a year ago. She had changed so much towards then end of our marriage, and I was having a hard time catching up with the changes, that we truly agreed on nothing. So there I was, nervous, uncomfortable, and wanting so desperately to hate her so that it would be easy to walk away, that my mouth, as it’s known to do, kept running. Probably the most uncomfortable I have ever been except for flight physical time. Having your oil checked by a male with thick fingers or your beans fondled by a beautiful nurse…when it’s cold, that you may have to work with later is only slightly more awkward but much easier to dismiss than that meeting.

So I thought about this for a day or so and decided to address these issues publicly. One way to mold yourself and solidify your beliefs and opinions is to test them on the open water. Not that I would change my beliefs or opinions based on someone else’s opinion but it is a way to look at things from a different perspective and thus add to or subtract from who I am.

Lets lay the foundation for this discussion. My ex-wife, lets call her Athena, lives in what some folks, including me, call “22 Square Miles Surrounded by Reality” or “The Peoples Republic”. Some even call it the California of Colorado. You could even go so far as to call it Colorado’s version of Quebec but that would be really stretching it. Either way you look at it it’s where the 2% from some of my previous blogs live. That 2% that yells and screams to get things changed to their way while ignoring the majority of the population opinion. Truthfully this place has excellent insight into environmental preservation as well as economic excellence. Lets put it this way; don’t go shopping there unless you have tons of extra cash. Oops. I digress. It is a really great and beautiful place though, in spite of most of its inhabitance and their extreme liberal views. With that said consider Athena the extreme liberal from Quebec. She is probably going to smack me for that one seeing as she is Canadian and probably not the biggest fan of Quebec so instead just consider her “of liberal mind”. ;-)

As for me, I just do my best to do and support what I think is right on the simplest level. A wise man once said, “Take care of the little things and the big things typically fall into place”. I refuse to label my self as Conservative or Liberal or Republican or Democrat because I don’t need or want a group of people to tell me how I should think, feel or vote. However, if you were outside looking in you would probably label me as Conservative Republican.

Lets tackle the issues and maybe Athena will comment on how much I missed the point or how much I have changed in my way of thinking.

Lets tackle Sexual Preference first. At the risk of sounding insecure I will state upfront that I love the female form. Athena will certainly be able to attest to that. I remember fondly a lesson I once learned. I used to have a real problem with homosexuality until it was put to me like this, “What bothers you about it? The stuff they do in the bedroom? How is that any of your business?” From that point on my issues with homosexuality dwindled. Then came the issue of gay marriage. I have commented on this before but to reiterate; marriage is a religious institution not a legal institution so what does it matter if a same sex couple is getting a tax break from the government? As for the religious aspect of it, if your God is okay with it then I’m okay with it. One thing I cannot accept, though, is someone being harmed or persecuted for being different.

How about politics? This is a pretty touchy subject for me, mainly because I could be court marshaled for much of what I say here so I am going to play it safe and talk about why I do what I do. Athena and I disagree on much of our politics. She was for Kerry I was for what I perceived to be the lesser of two evils. I still believe I made the right choice, though I don’t necessarily agree with some of the decisions being made and I certainly hope that the next election will bring many new candidates for a little more selection. What you must understand is that I am a soldier and George W. Bush is in my chain of command and I support him %100. Not because I agree with him %100 but because supporting my chain of command is part of the values that I have adopted as a man, more specifically Integrity, Loyalty, Duty etc. I’ll publish my command philosophy later. I can’t change the way things are until I have paid my dues as a soldier. All I can do is execute the lawful order from higher to the best of my ability. Once I have paid my dues though I WILL be running for public office.

Not a big fan of Organized Religion. Ever heard the expression, “There are no Atheist in fox holes”. I couldn’t agree more with this. Athena and I had a few heated discussions back when I was a staunch Christian. When I say “staunch” I mean only if someone attacked my religion. After reading up on my history I am not sure I want to be associated with that type of organization. In addition I have done a lot of reading over the last three years and there are way to many questions about the origin of man for me to believe that any one religion holds all the answers. That’s not to say that I don’t believe in God or some supreme being. In fact I have had experiences that would lead me to believe there is much more to the human persona than any one religion can describe. One particular event, that I will not describe here, was shared with Athena and to this day it continues to be one of the most significant moments of my life. Little does she know that it brought me closer to her than any other woman I know. With all that in mind I tend to take stock in a different philosophy that a friend of mine introduced me to. It’s called the “Decent Human Being Program”. If you’re a decent human being then it doesn’t matter what religion you are. More over it doesn’t matter what religion I am because I am not going to force my beliefs on you and you will not force your beliefs on me. All that said, I still pray and I will pray whenever and where ever I want but it will be a private moment between me and my God.

In my humble opinion I am not the boy that married Athena so many years ago. I am a completely different man. My mannerisms are still similar; I still get frustrated with certain things. I still have a low tolerance for people who just want handouts instead of hand ups. I still curse when I am angry though I am much better at controlling that then I was. Overall I am very different but just stating that means nothing. The real tragedy here is that Athena and I will not see each other for a very long time after this next meeting, which will leave me very little opportunity to repair the damage I have caused to a very wonderful friendship. Thus this blog was created.

So now I guess we’ll have to talk about something else.

My mother brought this particular Victoria Advocate article to my attention.

http://www.thevictoriaadvoc...

After reading it I couldn’t help but understand the visions of greatness I had always had when watching this individual throughout our high school years. He has achieved the many goals he has set for himself, sets new goals and goes after them, and continues to educate and enlighten those within his environment. This is the picture of success I hope to one day achieve. This is the picture of a community leader I would be thrilled to support. Ladies and Gentlemen this is one of my heroes, Nicholas Green.

Hola!

It’s been a bit since my last berating of the human condition. Not today I said!

Except for…

ALABAMA!

I just spent 2 weeks in LA…Lower Alabama. More specifically Ft. Rucker Alabama. I should give it the credit it’s due. Ft. Rucker isn’t such a bad place when you are there for a 2-week course surrounded by no nonsense trainers who get the job done. If you’re going through flight school or Warrant Officer Course it’s a different story. Thank the maker I don’t have to do that again!

Anyway, while there, I was able to make it to Pensacola Naval Air Station to see the Museum and get my McGuire’s Irish Pub Qualification. The Museum was awesome. Any one who is a fan of aviation should make it a point to stop buy. In addition make it a point to check out the civil war fort also located on post. What a magnificent display of masonry. Of course you must due dinner and drinks at McGuire’s Irish pub. Order the New York Strip and the Irish Wake, staple a dollar to the ceiling if you can find a spot and make sure you kiss the Moose!

Mmmmm Tasty!

We also stopped by Trader Johns bar. The bar TJ’s in An Officer and a Gentlemen was modeled after. Unfortunately it had gone out of business.

A day at home and then off to San Antonio! I LOVE THIS CITY! My favorite city’s on this planet would have to be Austin, TX, San Antonio, TX, Las Vegas, NV, Denver Colorado and I have to give props to my peeps in the metropolis that is PORT O’ CONNOR! I arrived to the smell of gorditas and beer. I am home! The conference I was attending was on the Riverwalk. A unique conference if I have ever been to one. Medical Evacuation was the topic and all it’s changes. Good stuff!

I made contact with a few old friends and found out a friend had passed away to a common pilot killer known as IIMC. Inadvertent Instrument Meteorological Conditions. If you’re a pilot it’s flying instruments when you didn’t mean to. Now add the fact that it’s night and you are wearing night vision goggles, which can see through a small amount of fog and haze. Then suddenly you can no longer see anything. Quickly flip your goggles up and transition into the cockpit where all the lights have been turned down to their lowest readable level to reduce eyestrain and hope you are already level. Concentrating on the instruments and trying to keep the helicopter in a level attitude and only turning to avoid known obstacles. Your copilot would be trying to call ATC to get some help. By this time your eyes are just getting to a point where you can make out the intricacies of the cockpit and you realize that you are in a 1500 foot per minute rate of descent or even worse that you are in a turn and descending or much worse you’re upside down in a helicopter and you have already met the Earth. She’s so unforgiving. Candice you will be missed. IIMC kills more aviators than I care to admit. There are controls in place to prevent that but it never fails, Mother Nature is boss and you will do as she dictates.

Aside from that I had a great time in San Antonio reminiscing about a few times I had there with great people and learning about the future of MEDEVAC in the US Army.

Time for home!

Oh wait! I forgot to mention that I ran into an old friend in the River Center Mall. Those of you from the Gatti Days will remember him as Skippy. I have no idea why we called him that and I certainly don’t call him that now.

Man what a trip.

I think I will have to make it here one more time before I head out.