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pilot - > A Pirate Aground In The City -> FLDS Drama: "Uncle Brother Where Art Thou?"
FLDS Drama: "Uncle Brother Where Art Thou?"

Let's see........if her brother is also her father, would that not make her other brother her uncle as well? And then while her uncle brother's daughter would be her cousin, would she not be her niece also? Sounds like the Willie Nelson song, "I Am My Own Grandpa" to me....... Okay the incestuous inferences may well not be the case, but I am guessing that in a society such as the FLDS, where the men are hand picked and periodically culled by leaders to keep the ratio of men who all look suspiciously alike, to the flock of free range legless women roaming the grounds, in favor of the chosen few men...........well, let's just say that that line between barely legal(or not) and kinfolk versus no DNA match, probably tends to get a bit blurred at times.

I find it a little interesting that the FLDS statement disavowing any "more" marriages, spiritual or otherwise, among girls under the age of consent(16 in Tejas)to older fellas, coincided with the judges' ruling to let some of the sect's children in foster care, go back to the "Yearning For Zion". By the way Mr. Jeffs, I am a guy.........I know what you and your boys are really yearning for. Wink, wink. Anyway, sounds like a little behind the scenes negotiating might have been going on between the state's legal system, and the sect lawyers to me. 

The very practice of periodic ex-communication of "unworthy" men in the sect, and the subsequent reassignment of wives, seems to be slanted in favor of keeping the above mentioned ratio intact to me, doesn't it you? I have a proposal for those who would practice plural marriages. Make it legal. But make it so that in the case of such marriages, the women are at any time, allowed an uncontested divorce, only for the asking. Oh, and keep Texas' community property law in place......so that in any such divorce, the departing wife gets HALF of the estate........with each subsequent departing wife and deductions......er, children, getting half of what is left. I think such a law and arrangement, when enforced, whould pretty well keep a lid on polygamy, don't you? And just to keep it honest, let's let the law go both ways. Let's allow any woman to have as many husbands as she wants. I'm sure guys would just be beating down the county clerk's door to get those marriage licenses to be the fourth or fifth in line at the old lights out, sackeroo time.......ya reckon? Wouldn't be long after that a whole new industry would pop up. Right next to the Ziz Zag rolling papers, Spanish Fly, and Stimulant/male enhancement packets sitting there at Mustafa's corner Shell Store, would be the latest rage.........home DNA field test kits.

Oh, and on top of all of this, I think the State of Texas showed some illegal, heavy handed gestapo tactics with their little raid on the Nuevo/Retro Mormon Oasis. When all is settled, it will likely turn out as a pretty little divorce lawyer told me once: "In the end the winners will be the lawyers, and the losers will be the kids".

Tags: "Religion", Sex, Law, "Marriage"
posted by pilot on Tuesday, June 3, 2008 at 07:34 AM
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posted by AprillBrandon on Jun 3, 2008 at 10:13 AM
LOL. Great post, Mike. Loved it.
posted by thewaywardwind on Jun 3, 2008 at 07:49 AM

I was thinking about the same song, but, I believe that if you check, it was by Lonzo and Oscar.  Regardless, it's a very funny song and sorta makes sense if you don't think about it too hard. 

I don't have any problem with the multiple wife (or husbands) idea, but I really don't think it'd be for me.  I get into enough trouble with ONE wife.  Two or three could well be fatal.  Multiple partners -- now that's just fun, but DON'T marry'em!

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