Read in today's Chronicle that George W has telephoned Barry Bonds. Ostensibly the call was to congratulate him on his home run milestone, but I see much more here. The two do have some common ground to tread on. Both are cheats. Both have lied about their cheating. Both are covering their lies pretty good so far, by enlisting the help of lawyers. That's pretty much where the similarities stop far as I can tell. Barry is arguably the best all around baseball player ever to play the game, steroids, lies and cheating aside. W on the other hand, is Bush League plain and simple. Always has been. He pretty much has been handed and spoon fed everything he has to account for, from his pansy boy cheerleading college days through his skating through the Air National Guard, right up to where he sits fidgeting and stumbling on his words today.

I suppose there is one other thing that might have come up during the call though. Could be the prez, in the role of "decider", might have decided he could offer Barry executive privilege in choosing not to answer the questions on his juicing.......or maybe a pardon for Bonds former trainer who is sitting in jail over this steroids issue...........

Scientists say they have discovered a planet 1400 light years away, that is twenty times the size of Earth......They should have checked with me first. I went there once after spotting it with my binoculars. It has lakes of Chardonnay and Cognac, beaches of fine diamonds, and mountains of Swiss chocolate. It is inhabited by a race of 23 year old Russian, Chinese and Brazilian supermodels - who all speak perfect English.

1400 light years????? Damn, that's farther away than Oz. Yep, and the Earth IS flat!

BTW, Endeavour launches tonight. pray for the teacher and the crew. Be nice for NASA to get Lisa Nowak and "Lust In Space" on the back burner for a while.

Come to think of it, this one could have been titled "Throwing horseshoes at the moon".
Today's Advocate obituaries, triggered a flashback of sorts for me. I noted the passing of one James Rudd from Seadrift. Rest in peace Mr. Rudd. He's in my dad's class - Born in the East Texas woods - a refinery retiree - lived all his life in Texas, save for the service and Korea. Good man, and father to a friend of mine, Lynda Amason wife of an old dear friend Paul, another colorful character to be sure. Someday, when I'm sure the statute of limitations have all expired, there will be stories here or somewhere, of my times with Paul........ But back to Jimmy Rudd, a couple of incidents come to mind, but one of which is etched in my mind kind of like when I was at the Fannin Jr. High Auditorium, assembled to listen to radio coverage of the Kennedy(John) assassination. First, I do remember a night shortly after I had gotten my driver's license and was tooling around like a human yoyo on wheels, from one end of town to the other, looking for girls that weren't there, or burning rubber in my dad's old turquoise '60 Ford Galaxie, to impress my friends. On one of the loops, I noticed a ruckus outside Skinny's beer joint. Seems old Jimmy and my dad weren't seeing eye to eye on the outcome of a game of moon or forty two, or shuffleboard or who knows what, and had taken it to the parking lot for further review. Mostly what went on was a lot of chest beating and neck hairs standing up on the both of them. It went on I guess, until the last couple of Jax or Falstaffs wore down to the point that they either resolved it or just agreed to disagree. I doubt either of them ever knew I was pulled over, watching the whole silly fuss.

But the other time was one of those moments a lot of us will relate to. Might have been the last time I saw Mr. Rudd, come to think of it. I sat, gathered around an old TV, with Mr. & Mrs. Rudd and Paul, Lynda, Jimmy, Mike and Gayle, watching in awe on July 20, 1969, as Neil Armstrong stepped from the lunar lander, onto the surface of the moon.......or onto a soundstage somewhere in the high desert in Area 51, depending on who you believe, huh?

Jimmy, I might not be there to see you off tomorrow, but I promise you'll be on my list of folks to visit when I make my sojourns on my bicycle out to the quiet little green patch out on Cemetery Road to talk to my old friends.
R.I.P.,
M.A.

The following is the winning entry from an annual contest calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term. This year's term: Political Correctness.

And the winner is:

"Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a **** by the clean end."

Alrighty then......I think it's about time to let my treehugger, Greenpeace side show through for a bit and share some music and ideas with my friends. As far as the music part goes, what I will link you to via YouTube, at the end of this ramble, is the music I try to listen to a bit of every day, because it has a strong affirmation message. That said, if you were to look at my schizo music library, you would likely shake your head and suggest a treatment for me. I have Glen Miller in there. I think if you have never danced a slow dance to Gene Pitney's "Only Love Can Break A Heart", while holding someone special, to a 45RPM record on a record player with the speakers stretched as far apart as the wires will allow, in the school library, well......you just haven't lived completely. Guess what else? I have a killer version of the Eurhythmics' "Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This" by Marilyn Manson, that a girl I work with gave me...... and I like it! Bottom line - I'm pretty open to new ideas.

This isn't about a new idea though. It's about a Canadian singer songwriter who has been around since the psyhchedelic sixties........ but who today, in addition to cranking out wonderful music consistently, is a dedicated friend of the Earth and champion of the rainforests and the indigenous folk who live there, being squeezed by McDonald's and Exxon Mobil and Dole. I speak of Bruce Cockburn, an incredible writer, singer and guitarist. The songs of which I speak are http://www.youtube.com/watc... target='_blank'>If A Tree Falls , and http://www.youtube.com/watc... target='_blank'>A Dream Like Mine , and http://www.youtube.com/watc... target='_blank'>If I Had A Rocket Launcher . Enjoy them. Listen to and WATCH them! Please. If you do not have an internet connection that will allow you to load YouTube clips, I'm sorry for the tease.

.......and who altered his body as much as Michael Jackson to do it.

I just hope that when they indict him that Major League Baseball will show some testicles and strip him of the record he cheated to get.

We will miss you Marvin. There will never be another like you. Hopefully, who you truly were in your heart has rubbed off on many others, whether they realize it or not. You were a character to be sure. People made fun of you and your flamboyant manner. I even poked fun at your "sliiiiime in the ice machine"...... in my own writing. But for all that schtick and all of the wigs and nose jobs, and for everytime I drive through Sealy and La Grange and think of you, what I and many others will remember most, is the way you fought injustice and went to bat for the poor and downtrodden. I only met you once, if a handshake at the gas pumps at the old Gulf station on Beechnut where we were both gassing up counts. Now I can babble on here forever, but I think I'll just finish by saying "Thank you"! Thank you for setting the bar as high as you did for the rest of us. Thank you for doing it in my hometown. And for those Marvin leaves behind, don't be sad because he's moved on. Be happy that he was here. Rest in peace white knight.