Rusty's Wednesday evening was spent listening to a presentation by 1958 Miss America, Marilyn Van Derbur, author of MISS AMERICA BY DAY. This best selling book is touted as "A guide for parenting...resource for professionals...handbook for survivers of sexual abuse...love story."

A survivor of incest (from age five to eighteen), Van Derbur said her dad was the problem. So often, mothers do nothing to protect their daughters and accuse their hurting daughters of making up stories that aren’t true. Because of their denial and doing nothing they end up hurting the kids more than the dads do.

She says the biggest group of sexual predators is boys between the age of 12 and 17. Most of their victims are little sisters usually starting at age 5. She says it is so vitally important to train our sons about the dangerous potential they have to ruin lives forever. They have to realize how to control their sexuality because they have no idea of the damage they do and that fondling can be as damaging mentally as actual penetration.

Babysitters are probably the next most numerous group for preying on the littler kids. I know a guy who told me, "When I was twelve a babysitter got me into sex and it really screwed me up." Another guy said about the same thing, same age, babysitter, etc.

Since kids won’t tell, parents need to ask them, “Has anybody touched you someplace you didn’t want them to?” Teach them BEFORE the fact to say, “NO, mommy and daddy said nobody is to touch me like that.”

Please take my recommendation on this and try to get the book and or CDs. www.MissAmericaByDay.com is your contact info. ******

HOPE OF SOUTH TEXAS, Sexual Assault Crisis and Children's Advocacy Center, sponsored the program. Their program listed these helps —

When you suspect child abuse or neglect:
All Texas citizens have a legal obligation to report suspected child abuse or neglect immediately to a state or local law enforcement agency or the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services.
Your report of child abuse or neglect is confidential and immune from civil or criminal liability as long as the report is made in "good faith" and "without malice".
DO NOT confront the abuser.

If a child outcries abuse to you:
Don't overreact, remain calm!
Reassure the child that they are doing the right thing by telling.
Don't ask leading or accusing questions, but allow the child to tell their story.
Listen quietly and be cautiopus of your facial expressions.
Report ther outcry immediately.

Know who to call:
Law enforcement if the abuse is outside of the family, is life threatening, if immediate intervention is needed.
Texas Department of Family and Protective Services if the abuse is within the family or household. THE 24-HOUR HOTLINE NUMBER IS 1-800-252-5400.

How to help an adult friend
Listen, be there, don't be judgemental.
Strongly encourage your friend to call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE. The hotline, operated by the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN), provides free, confidential counseling 24/7. RAINN can also provide your friend with the mane and contact information for a nearby crisis center.
Remember that, in the end, only your friend can make the decision to get help. Be patient- it may take time for him/her to deal with the crime.
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What people need to know about sexual abuse:
Victims of sexual abuse can be any age, race or gender. (Rusty here: I personally know of one lady age 50 when raped, my older sister must have been in her late 50s and a lady out in west Texas, kin to a local man here, was either in her mid to late 80s or early 90s when she was beat up and raped. Also, one of our faithful readers has a grown daughter who was raped since we started the Rusty blog. And, his family had the highest praise for Hope of South Texas.)
One in four girls and one in six boys will be sexually assaulted before they are eighteen. (Rusty, again, I know of a high school boy who was threatened at school. Fortunately, he grabbed an effective weapon and beat the other four boys severely. Too bad he didn't kill those football players who couldn't pass anyway.)
93% of victims know their abuser.
34% of those who sexually abuse children are family members and 59% are friends and acquaintances.
67% of all sexual assault victims are children.
Like Rape, child molestation is one of the most underreported crimes: ONLY 1-10% ARE EVER REPORTED.
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For more information call Hope of South Texas at 361-573-5868. Any other suggestions?