This started out as a comment on Chelsey Delaney's blog about trying to get to know her folks after living with them most of her nineteen years.

Chelsey: Your post just reminded me of a daughter who recently told her dad, "I never want to see you again this side of your grave. Don't talk to me, you don't even exist from now on." That dad would love to sit down and tell her that her charge of "You only think about yourself" isn't really fair.


If he could he'd remind her of his decision to work away from home on "per diem" jobs rather than drag her and her mother all over creation during her last three years of high school. He'd like to tell her of the crappy places he lived in while supporting four households during her college years. He existed on $2 or $3 dollars an hour while sending the rest of his pay checks home.

Can you imagine living right across the river, and right down the river, from large chemical plants and refineries with no A/C in your apartment in south Texas or south Louisiana? The humidity ruined his computer. One time he even lived in a one room "apartment" in a noisy dog kennel. He had to go out into the actual kennel area to use the toilet and take a shower. He said the gal who was supposed to care for the dogs never cleaned the cages or the dogs so the smell was horrendous.

The building was adjacent to a huge pond in the swamp so the mosquitoes roamed in clouds. The rats and snakes had the run, or crawl, of the place. His health suffered because of the conditions and the mold resulting from not getting all the water out of the carpet when it was “cleaned”.

Chelsey’s wise trying to “get to know” her parents while she has them.

Hopefully, the other girl will get things patched up with her dad before it's too late.

*****

We heard from that daddy today. He said, "My daughter needs to get over this for her sake. holding on to something lkie this will eat up the one holding it while it might not do a thing to the object of one's rath. I've already forgiven her."

In chapter six of Matthew, the only thing that Jesus repeated from the sermon on the mount was, esentially "Forgive those who trespass against you, for if you can't forgive others, how can the Father forgive you?"

Former FBI Profiler offers 7 tips to keep you safe ... and alive on vacation
Here's a COMMENTARY By Clint Van Zandt
MSNBC analyst & former FBI profiler
Updated: 4:46 p.m. ET Feb. 27, 2006
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id... target='_blank'>HERE

OLD GEEZERS "Geezers" (slang for an old man) are easy to spot:
At sporting events, during the playing of the Star Spangled BANNER, Old Geezers remove their caps and stand at attention and sing without embarrassment. They know the words and believe in them.

Old Geezers remember the Depression, World War II, Pearl Harbor, Guadalcanal, Normandy and Hitler. They remember the Atomic Age, the Korean War 1950-53-55, The Cold War, Vietnam, the jet age and the moon landing the 50 plus Peacekeeping Missions from 1945 to 2005 the Jet Age and the Moon Landing, not to mention Vietnam,

If you bump into an Old Geezer on the sidewalk, he will apologize. If you pass an Old Geezer on the street, he will nod or tip his cap to a lady. Old Geezers trust strangers and are courtly to women. Old Geezers hold the door for the next person and always, when walking, make certain the lady is on the inside for protection.

Old Geezers get embarrassed if someone curses in front of women and children and they don't like any filth on TV or in movies.
Old Geezers have moral courage. They seldom brag unless it's about their grandchildren.

It's the Old ! Geezers who know our great country is protected, not by politicians or police, but by the young men and women in the military serving their country.

This country needs Old Geezers with their decent values. We need them now more than ever.

Thank God for Old Geezers!
Pass this on to all the Old Geezers you know.

Do YOU know any old geezers besides Rusty?

Another man and I were discussing our disappointing relationships with our “dear old dads”. My comments showed the gall and bitterness still in my heart. In another example of God’s timing, less than two days later, a letter from my sister included, basically, “Daddy was so proud of you and told everybody what all you were doing and the people you met. His one big regret was how he’d treated you and wished he’d gotten your forgiveness for it.” He died in 1989 and this was the first I’d ever heard what she said there. Choke, slobber, blubber, sniff, sniff, … And, what complimentary things did I say about him out there on the porch? Nothing.

What do you need to patch up? You may not have another chance so do it SOON.

Garon sent this:

A Pastor went to his church office on Monday morning and discovered a dead mule in the church yard.
He telephoned the police.
Since there did not appear to be any foul play, the police referred the Pastor to the Health Department.

They explained, "Since there was no health threat, you'll need to call the Sanitation Department."

When the pastor called the Sanitation Department, the Manager of the Sanitation Department said, "I can't pick up that dead mule without authorization from the mayor."

The Pastor was not at all too eager to call the mayor, who possessed a very bad temper and was always extremely unpleasant and hard to deal with, but, eventually, the Pastor called the mayor anyway.

The mayor did not disappoint the Pastor.

The mayor immediately began to rant and rave. After his continued rant at the pastor, the mayor finally said, "Why did you call me any way? Isn't it your job to bury the dead?"

The pastor paused for a brief prayer, and asked the Lord to direct his response.

The lord led the pastor to the words he was seeking, "WELL Yes, Mayor, it IS my job to bury the dead, BUT I always like to notify the next of kin first!"

Did you ever hear of couples scrapping because one said the other kept her/him awake with their snoring? A couple we know has been having that lately. "Why were you touching me last night." "Your snoring was keepin' me awake." "You're crazy because I wasn't asleep. I was awake listening to see what you were hearing. I couldn't get back to sleep for hours." "Well, okay." "I don't know why you keep saying that. I'm gonna get pis8ed if you keep it up. Now, stop it." "Yes, dear."

I wonder why a tape recorder hasn't been used yet?

D'y'all have any stories like this? What happened?

It sounds like the higher ups at New Orleans have told the evacuees, "IF you're not going to work and earn your keep don't come back and expect public housing. We don't want a bunch who are just going to sit around and watch soap operas all day."

What do you think about that?

D, please ask Heidi to give us her take on this. Thanks.

A friend sent this with beautiful background photos. That would take too much room so you'll just get the text here. For the whole thing hit the Contact Rusty button.

1. God won't ask what kind of car you drove. He'll ask how many you drove who didn't have transportation.
2. God won't ask the square footage of your house. He'll ask how many you welcomed into your home.
3. God won't ask about the clothes you had in your closet, He'll ask how many you helped to clothe.
4. God won't ask your highest salary, He'll ask if you compromised your character to get it.
5. God won'task what your job title was, He'll asked if you did your job to the best of your ability.
6. God won't ask how many friends you had, He'll ask how many people to whom you were a friend.
7. God won't ask what neighborhood you lived in, He'll ask how you treated your neighbor.
8. God won't ask the color of your skin, He'll ask the content of your character.
9. God won't ask why it took you so long to seek salvation, He'll lovingly take you to your mansion in heaven, not to the gates of hell.
10. God won't have to ask how many you'll forward this to, He already knows your decision.

In an AP story in the Advocate entitled, PA. MERCURY LIMITS MAY OUTDO THE GOVERNMENT'S they told of the aggressive stand the state of PA. is taking about mercury emissions. The exciting thing about reducing mercury levels is that maybe some of the other pollutants will get reduced in the process (Rusty's hope). The following is my contribution to the Discussion Forum.

Some of you may be prone to ask why this article should be news to Gulf Coast Texans. According to a speaker on acid rain at the Louisiana Wildlife Federation meeting in Lake Charles in February, 1983, the tall smoke stacks at Pennsylvania coal fired power plants let the west winds in that area carry the emissions eastward out over the Atlantic. From there the wind currents carry them back down the east coast until they curl back across Florida, and possibly southern Georgia, out over the Gulf. From there the southerlies bring them back inland over Louisiana and probably into Texas as well. This was well documented at the time so this isn't just something I pulled out of thin air.

In my article at the time published in either the River Parishes Guide or the Louisiana Sportsman I had a make believe coonie (Cajun) bar room singer lamenting, "Oh, they ain't gonna be no crawfish no more, There ain't gonna be no crawfish no more, They ain't gonna be no tails to shuck, They ain't gonna be no heads to suck, They ain't gonna be no crawfish no more..."

This was aluding to the fact that when the waters become more acidic the crawfish and other small organisms will die off before the small fish do. Fish had been found to tolerate stronger acidic waters (lower pH readings) than crawfish are. However, the fish feeding critters die off will affect the fish before the lower pH does.

Acid rain and other pollutants like mercury can have a bigger effect on our coastal waters and buildings that one would think.

Maybe you have something to add to this. Feel free to wade in here.

DEAR READERS: This is an outgrowth of the passions stirred up about giving the Arabs our ports. There has been lots of finger pointing and cussing each other over politics. I think I see something here where we can all win.

I'm so sick of the Democrats being such weenies and not having anyone worth voting on for president. I'm also happy to see some of the Republicans raring up on their hind legs and telling the Bushies, "Whoa, boys, let's stop some of this bull frockey and look at what you're trying to do to our country."

About the politics of this group, how about we all lump our passions together for the common good instead of scalding each other? Since we all seem to be disenchanted with the entire political system let's see how much stink we can stir up by shaking up the screwed up system we're tired of?

Though this might scorch the shorts of many main line Christians, I'm going to say it anyway. Just because someone CLAIMS to be a Christian, that doesn't mean he's not a friggin idiot like the silly twit we have in Washington. Like many others I voted for Bushie boy because I didn't want Kerry but I'm wondering if he would have been as bad as what we have now.

Let's do our dead level best to kick all of those dems and repubs out of office. They're nearly all a bunch of crooks feathering their own nests regardless of how much it hurts the rest of us. Let's find some people with great big cajones and no personal agendas.

For starters, I intend to vote for Kinky if for no other reason but to shake up the bunch of wormy butts who couldn't even allocate funding for Texas schools. Let's get those nitwits out of there like the guy who tried to pass a law his daughter couldn't do the hoochie coochie in a cheer leader uniform at ball games. Let's focus on important issues.

Earlier today I posted this comment on Loon's blog about Vinegars.

LOON: Maybe you or some of our readers can shed some light on this subject. Back in the hills over in lapland (where Oklahoma laps over into Arkansas) my wife's people must have bought their vinegar in great big jugs. My suspicion is that after a bit of time some kind of scum formed on the surface of the liquid. Some folks called this "the mother".

A family gathering erupted in roaring laughter one time when the M-I-L told about going to get a quantity of vinegar. In order not to get any of "the mother" in the smaller jar, The vinegar getter was admonished, "Hold that mother back."

How close is my guess about what "the mother" was? any other related stories?

BILL ANSWERED THE ABOVE QUESTION AT Tuesday, February 21, 2006 4:59 pm LIKE THIS: In answer to Rusty Abe's question. Mother is the yeast and bacteria that causes fermentation i.e. gives birth to it.

BILL: Thanks, Rusty

Have you any stories about making vinegar?

The last thing I read, W. is fully behind the deal so maybe this is a dead issue.
********
This letter from the American Family Association was sent to us"
Please forward this e-mail message to your family and friends!

Help Keep Our Country Secure By Keeping Control Of Our Ports

Dear PATRICIA,

Normally we don't ask you to participate in issues such as this, but we feel that this one justifies your involvement.

Our port operations in New York, New Jersey, Baltimore, New Orleans, Miami and Philadelphia have been, or soon will be, purchased by Dubai Ports World, a state-owned company in the United Arab Emirates, a firm that manages port facilities. The purchase was cleared by an obscure federal panel, the Committee on Foreign Investment in the United States, with little fanfare.

The United Arab Emirates government is generally pro-U.S., but the September 11 hijackers traveled easily through the country, and Al Qaeda-linked groups have used its banking system. Senator Tom Coburn of Oklahoma is pleading with the administration to reverse the decision. At a press conference outlining his opposition, he said, "Handing the keys to U.S. strategic ports to a regime that recognized the Taliban is not a sound next step in our war against terror."

Several Senators and Representatives are calling for hearings into the matter. This is a matter which deserves a full and complete hearing. Ask President Bush to override the agreement and conduct a special investigation into the matter.

To read the Washington Times article
CHECK THEIR WEBSITE.

Thanks for caring enough to get involved.

Donald E. Wildmon, Founder and Chairman
American Family Association

P.S. Please forward this e-mail message to your family and friends!

CLERIC'S guess about the picture in an earlier blog where the kid is holding a candle was FIRE PREVENTION WEEK? reminded me of something.
When we were in junior high and high school, we'd make little guns out of two spring type clothes pins. We'd put the old "strike anywhere" kitchen matches in them and shoot the matches lighting them in the process. This particular day one of my back pockets was full of matches. When I sat down in the band room a big puff of smoke billowed out of my khakis.
We had short periods that day because we were having an assembly in the auditorium. When the assembly started the local fire chief stepped to the mike and announced that it was National Fire Prevention Week. The whole band class roared with laughter while the rest of the school wondered, "What do those idiots think is so funny?"

It's only about 50 feet from my office to the back door of the house. My spouse set two sacks of trash by the back step thinking I'd get the hint and pack them out to the highway. With the thermometer sitting at 39*F it seemed a good idea to put on my jacket first.
Was just going to surf the TV and see what was on. Got involved and two hours later opened the kitchen door to this lovely photo opportunity.

I wonder if MANGO was one of the offending gatos? If so, he'll like the VP Chaney better than he does Rusty.LOL

Christopher and Marcie Bottoms are expecting their first child in July. Chris's mom, my sister, has never appreciated my calling her brood the Smelly Bottoms gang (never could figure out why).

Since Marcie has a good sense of humor I told her that we might solicit possible names for their little girl in this blog. Some of the ones running around my head include jewels like Tinky Poo Bottoms.

WHAT SUGGESTIONS DO YOU HAVE? DON'T BE BASHFUL.

We've lived in this nearly 20 years. Of course, about half of that was time my work was on the road. My wife is a very fastidous house keeper. For that reason it was a mystery to me while she kept a cabinet drawer pulled out about six to eight inches most of the time. The drawer was the bottom one between the cook stove and the wall so it wasn't in anyone's way. I never asked her why she did it but shoved it in when it seemed the thing to do. I recently found out why she does that.

What would your guess be why she does?

The other afternoon the kids' mama and I were having our walk when a ring-necked dove flew out of a nearby tree. Naturally, we looked to see if a nest was there. This reminded me of a time over 50 years ago.

My dad worked as a pumper in the oil field. It was always a treat to ride along with him as he made his rounds. Many of the pumping units under his care had engine houses; usually covered with galvanized corregated steel siding. We parked the pickup beside a pumping unit and dad checked the oil, changed production charts, applied ink to the markers and wound the clock mechanism.

We walked through an abandoned plum orchard down to a nearby pond. Crystal clear water made it possible to see fish darting in and out of moss and other cover. They were mostly minnows, various kinds of sunfish we usually lumped into what we called "perch" and bullhead catfish.

On the way back to the truck a dove flew out of a gnarley old plum tree. Dad carefully pulled a limb down for me to see two eggs in a flimsy nest. "We have to be very careful because doves build such flimsy nests that sometimes a strong wind can knock the eggs out."

Since dad usually was cussin' and hollerin' and raising hell about something, it's a treat to have some good memories too.

What will YOUR kids remember about you?

Thanks to readers who send these.

My wife left me...
I just don't understand women. After the last child was born, she told me we had to cut back on expenses, and that I had to give up drinking beer. I was not a big drinker; maybe a 12 pack on weekends—-
Anyway, I gave it up but I noticed the other day she came home from grocery shopping and when I looked at the receipt and saw $45 in makeup. I said, "Wait a minute. I've given up beer and you haven't given up anything!"
She said, "I buy that makeup for you, so I can look pretty for you."
I told her, "Hell, that's what the beer was for!"
I don't think she'll be back

Here's a link to some more of this administration's great ideas that they haven't provided the funding for:http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/... target='_blank'>HERE

That NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND is some more of their useless bull frockey. Underprivileged kids are supposed to get free tutoring but some 1-3/4 million aren't getting it.
AS long as it sounds good PROMOTE IT, just don't provide the money to make it happen.

This is just like this bull manure about having all these new engineering, science and math students. Then the idiots cut student aid for college kids. Where did they pull that out of????

Subject: chauffeur

Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising along a country road one
evening when an ancient cow loomed in front of the car. The driver tried to
avoid it but couldn't - the aged bovine was struck and killed.
Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the
owners what had happened. She stayed in the car making phone calls to
lobbyists.

About an hour later the driver staggered back to the car with his
clothes in disarray. He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive wine
in one hand, a rare, huge Cuban cigar in the other, and was smiling
happily, smeared with lipstick.

"What happened to you?" asked Hillary.



"Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife
gave me the wine, and their beautiful twin daughters made mad passionate
love to me."

"My God, what did you tell them?" asked Hillary.
The driver replied: "I just stepped inside the door and said, 'I'm
Hillary Clinton's driver, and I've just killed the old cow,' and the rest
happened like lightning!"

Garon sent this: I'D RATHER HUNT WITH DICK CHANEY THAN RIDE WITH TED KENNEDY

To see Americans taking out some dudes setting up a roadside bomb in Iraq hit my CONTACT RUSTY ABE button on this page.

Here's the text accompanying the video shot via night vision equipment.

The pictures were taken from an AC130 Specter gunship (plane) two and a
half miles away. The guys in the picture are setting up a roadside bomb
and planning to ambush an American convoy which followed a short while
after the pictures were taken. They were setting up for an ambush and
were pacing off the distance from the bomb to where the convoy was to pass.

Turn your sound up. The level of effort these crews put forth to control the enemy's antics is commendable, and their marksmanship with those electronically controlled 40mm cannons is astounding.

In a very good letter to the editor entitled “ANIMALS TO EAT” published on February 14, Jana Stout, Victoria, was rebutting a previous letter to the editor entitled BIRDS MURDERED about two quail shot in the pasture across the road from the house of the lady penning that letter. Here’s my reply to Jana that appears in the vicad discussion forums:

JANA STOUT: This is not intended to jump on you but to hopefully educate our open minded readers,okay? Your statement hit a nerve. "At least the hunters didn't have to pay for the quail." First, though, the rest of your posting got a big "hooray for Jana" from me. And a "Go git'um girl" (yes, "git'um" is hick for GET THEM if one wants to be politically stuffy. There seems to be too much of that in the comments seen here so far).


I couldn't say if the hunters actually paid for those particular two quail or not. There are some givens here:

A. The money they paid for their licenses not only went directly into state wildlife management coffers but helped in other ways. The number of hunting & fishing licenses each state sells in a reporting year goes into a formula to calculate the amount of money the state will receive back from the Pittman-Robertson and Dingell-Johnson (those are the names I remember them as, they may have new names by now) funds. Those funds are generated from the special excise taxes collected from the sales of such sportsman expenditures as guns, ammunition, loading components, boating gear, motors, boats, outboard motor fuel; clothing, etc This amounts to millions of dollars returned to our state. Programs receiving some of these funds go for Wildlife and Fisheries research and stocking, building of boat ramps and other access facilities at lakes, parks and rivers, etc.

B. Bird hunters, as well as hunters after other game species, via their tremendous volunteer works with such organizations as Quail Unlimited, Ducks Unlimited and the National Wild Turkey Federation, have literally resurrected the populations of many species to the huntable populations we have today from near extinction since around the turn of the 20th century.

Now for a few possibilities:

C. They could have paid the landowner for the privilege to hunt.

D. They may have helped the landowner do wildlife habitat improvement on his place such as special planting of food plots beneficial to quail, doves and other birds and animals. Providing cover for nesting, resting and sleeping, Make water available.

E. They may have even bought the quail for release on his property. (Rusty here: The original letter said quail chicks and adults often visited the lady’s yard –probably for water—and returned to the pasture.)

F. They may have even raised the quail and released them on the land.

Other things nimrods and anglers do is help the local economy by the purchase of vehicles, off road vehicles, gasoline, motor oil, boats, trailers, guns, ammo, decoys, hunting clothing, fishing rods and tackle, bait, sun block, and groceries. All these outdoor equipment outlets have thousands of employees in the state of Texas alone.


Hunting and fishing is a multi-billion dollar business in Texas. Hunters and fishermen & women pay the money that affords you to see the “cute” deer, bunny rabbits, squirrels, doves, quail, and the songbirds and other species riding piggy back on the benefits the game species receive out of sportspersons’ pocket books.

No matter what some Vicad readers, an those chronically on the dole, might think, "No Charlie, there's NO FREE LUNCH. Not even in the outdoor world.

While some unknowing, very vocal people, whose ears will never freeze, scream about trophy hunting, it's those "trophy hunters" who are paying for Bambi to even exist.

2006 DARWIN AWARDS>
>
>These are people allowed to drive and vote!>
> >>
> >In case you haven't received them yet, here are this year's Darwin Awards — the annual honor given to the person who improved the "gene pool" the most by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way. As always, competition this year has been keen. And the candidates this year are.............
> >
> >* IN Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.
A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran,"—accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on his daily run.
* Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach-goers said Daniel Jones, 21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it collapsed,
burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach on the outer banks, used their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a resident of Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people
looked on. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he fell face-first through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep his hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in Selbyville, Del, as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
HONORABLE MENTION:
Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover township, NJ, and his wife Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew up in their car. While driving around 2 AM, the bored couple
lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but apparently
>failed to notice the window was closed.
RUNNER UP:
TACOMA, WA Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. One end of the cable was secured around Bingham's leg and the other end was tied to the
bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off atthe ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy river water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. "All I can say" said Bingham, "is that God was watching out for me on that night. There's just no other
explanation for it."Bingham's foot was never located..
AND THE WINNER:
Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop! Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him. "The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr.
> >Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him" said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern.' With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before a
watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves that "S**t happens!"

Do you want to tell us similar stories?Can you top these?

HILLARY'S FIRST NIGHT AS PRESIDENT in January 2009

Hillary Clinton gets elected President and is spending her first night in the White House. She has waited so long..........
The ghost of George Washington appears, and Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"

Washington says, "Never tell a lie."
"Ouch!" Says Hillary, "I don't know about that."

The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears... Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?" Jefferson says,

"Listen to the people."
"Ohhh! I really don't want to do that."

On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears.. Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"
Lincoln says,

"Go to the theater."

Sherry Cook from Washington state sent this:

In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation for Easter and Passover holidays and decided to contact the local ACLU about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while the atheists had no holiday to celebrate.

The ACLU jumped on the opportunity to once again pick up the cause of the godless and assigned their sharpest attorneys to the case.

The case was brought before a wise judge who after listening to the long, passionate presentation of the ACLU lawyers, promptly banged his gavel and declared, "Case dismissed!"

The lead ACLU lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, "Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? Surely the Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances.

And the Jews—why in addition to Passover they have Yom Kippur and Hanukkah and yet my client and all other atheists have no such holiday!"

The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said

"Obviously your client is too confused to know about, or for that matter, even celebrate the atheists' holiday!"

The ACLU lawyer pompously said "We are aware of no such holiday for atheists, just when might that be, your honor?"

The judge said "Well it comes every year on exactly the same date—-

April 1st!"

My first car was a hand-me-down four door 1950 Buick Special with a Straight Eight motor with a 3 speed tranny with the shift lever on the steering column. Even though it would fly down the road, my dad had a thing about my never having a rig powerful enough to pull a sick person off a slop jar.

Before my driving age arrived my brother and I took on the job of straightening out the right front fender. My mom had swung so far out to the left to make a right turn into our driveway that a college kid tried to shoot past her on the right. Just as he started around the Buick was headed back to the right.

We beat and "bondo"ed the fender, primered it and painted it black to match the rest of my "hoopie". We thought we had the headlight in right until it got dark. I was the only kid in town who could hunt 'coons and 'possums with one headlight shining up into the trees. The other quirk about that headlight was our inept wiring job. Sopmetimes it was necessary to get out and kick the fender to make the light come on. Usually, it only took about once per night.

My dad worked in the oil field so there was plenty of "casing head gas" or "drip gas" to run it on. The stuff ran so hot that the car would "diesel—run without any spark" after we'd turn the key off. To get it to stop running it was necessary to ease the front bumper up against a power pole or a tree, turn the key off and let out on the clutch.

How hot did it run? Dad gave $8.00 for another straight 8 block so he'd have pistons to replace the latest that had burned out. This didn't occur until I started to college. Dad would hear me turn into the drive and he'd say, "Drive your mama's car to school this week and I'll put you another piston in the old one."

Getting up some speed, taking my foot off the gas, turning the key off, then turning it on again would always cause a loud backfire. The only rub with that, besides startling (and maybe chafing) residents for a block around, was that they didn't make mufflers tough enough to take that abuse. (Did that help ruin the pistons? Never thought about it until just now).


After Dad had tired of replacing the mufflers he told me, "Drive your mama's car to school this week so I can fix that muffler." The next time I cranked up the '50 model I could barely hear it running. Looking under the rig revealed that dad had made a muffler out of a four foot length of six inch diameter heavy walled well casing. It never blew up again.

It sounded like a good idea to remove all the vertical grill guards on the front of the Buick and customize it. All the vertical heavy metal crash protection was replaced by a custom fitted piece of heavy expanded metal with about a one inch diamond pattern. We painted that part with silver spray paint. Next we made a zigzag pattern of about a dozen push buttons made for the working part of outside car door handles (sort of a like a jack-o-lantern mouth, only a lot slicker).

After several months my dad interferred with, "You need to get all that **** out of that grill and put it back like it's supposed to be before you have a wreck and need the protection." Grumble, snort, "Well, okaaayyy."

We knew a guy who worked for Southwestern Bell changing out the old rotary dials in telephones. Some wizard discovered that if you hooked the dial up by a cold wire and the ground you could have a cool horn sound.(Hooking up a hot wire and a cold wire would melt the guts out of a dial in an instant). All the time you were spinning the dial to the right the horn would put out a solid honk. Then, when you released the dial the horn would sound for every digit you'd dialed. If you dialed the number two you'd have a solid honk and two short beeps as the dial returned to its normal position. Therefore, dialing zero would give you a real long tone and ten short ones.

We thought our horns were just the thing. There was room for my dial to fit face down on a metal bar under my dash. Turning it upside down would cause a bunch of sparks until you turned it over. One day one of dad's renters was showing my fancy horn to one of his visitors. When he quit playing with it he placed it UPSIDE DOWN under the dash and left. Evidently, later, something jarred the car enough to make contact. When my dad came out of the house he undoubtedly let out a string of unprintalbe words and yanked the whole thing out of the car and threw it as far as he could (and he had a pretty good arm).

My cynical side may be showing here. From what the Advocate articles say about the trial proceedings on Saddam Hussein, it looks like there may not be a conviction. If that turkey goes free what do you think will happen after that?

Does anyone have any stories or information for this reader? She asks:
I am hearing lately people complaining about SSI terrorism for lack of a better way to describe it. Being threatened to pull the plug on their benefits because of some trivial reason, or even fabricated lies. Is this really happening a lot or are these just a few isolated cases?

One of my close friends lost hers because they said she was "moonlighting" too much at odd jobs and thus making "too much" money to retain the payments of her benefits.

Another friend of mine insists they are setting her up. Putting money in her account to make it look like she's stealing money, robbing stores. She is in her 70s. I cannot imagine this God fearing woman stealing money. God only knows!

See what you can find out, if you hear more of these stories, I'd like to know. Terry
****
TERRY: Did these folks tell you WHICH SSI they are having trouble with? SSI NORMALLY stands for SOCIAL SECURITY INCOME which provides monthly payments to those who have either: #1. Reached Full Retirement age; or #2. Elected to start receiving a reduced SSI payment starting at age 62 years.

There is also SUPPLEMENTAL Security Income (SSI) which is a Federal income supplement program funded by general tax revenues (not Social Security taxes):
It is designed to help aged, blind, and disabled people, who have little or no income; and
It provides cash to meet basic needs for food, clothing, and shelter. For more information click http://www.ssa.gov/notices/... target='_blank'>HERE.

I have no way of knowing the facts of these cases. Anyone interested should check SSI guidelines under IRS on the Internet. Those on SSD(Social Security DISABILITY) can make a certain amount of $$$ each month in addition to their SSD payments.

The people on SUPPLEMENTAL Security Income have a different set of rules to play by. READ CAREFULLY: As I understand it, #1. the FIRST $20 earned each month is not deductible; #2. After the first $20, the next $65 earned per month and ONE HALF of the next $65 does not count against your Supplemental SI. After that you get docked. Anyone interested needs to read the IRS documents.

My guess is that the first person you mentioned got caught making more than the allowable. In many cases, this goes on for years before they get nailed. Sorry I can't tell you any more. Rusty

PBS had a show this afternoon about the troop trains being routed through North Platte, Nebraska during WWII. Even though the stops were only for ten minutes, our GIs and those of six Allied countries, will never forget what happened there.

A group of women (many were moms, wives and sweethearts of their own GIs away from home) decided to do something for the troops passing through NP. The Union Pacific Railroad allowed them to use part of their depot there to collect, prepare and hand out food, sandwiches (mostly egg or ham salad), desserts, coffee and milk to the passengers all free of charge. Over 6 million troops received their love and kindness.

In spite of the rationing of gasoline, tires, butter, eggs and sugar, families from Nebraska, Colorado, Kansas and Wyoming prepared and delivered raw & hardboiled eggs, fried chicken, cookies, home baked bread, birthday cakes, fruit, etc. to the canteen. Some of the women caught Union Pacific trains all along the line in Nebraska in the wee hours of the morning and got off at NP. They volunteered all day and rode a train back home, many arriving as late as mindight.

Not a dime of pay was given any of the 55,000 volunteers who worked there over a period of 4-1/2 years. People from all over sent their dollars, often one at a time, to help pay for all the stuff that had to be purchased.

This heart warming tale reminded me of an incident closer to home. Two weeks ago my brother Val and his wife had supper with me.When he ordered a rueben sandwich, Mary Catherine said, "Tell Abe the rueben sandwich story."

In 1953 or '54, at about six a.m. Val was headed to Germany when he boarded a troop train in OKC. Roughly 12 hours later it stopped in Chicago. Someone failed to deliver the lunches or suppers the troops were supposed to receive. Val left the station in his dress uniform.

The only place to eat that he found was a narrow little room between a couple warehouses. The long place was filled with a rough looking bunch of dirty workers all wearing hard hats. Nobody said a word to him except the guy who took his order of a rueben sandwich and a beer.

When he finished eating Val make his way through the crowded cafe and told the guy behind the counter, "Hey, I owe you for a rueben sandwich and a beer." In a gruff voice the guy growled, "Get the hell out of here." Val said, You don't understand I owe you for.." Again came, "Get the hell out of here."

Evidently, Val's questioning look prompted the guy to jerk his thumb at a couple of pictures behind the counter. One was of a young sailor and the other of a young soldier. "I guess they were his boys and that was his way of giving me what I ate. I beat it back to the train."

Do you have any stories like this?

TA-DUH-TA-DUH!!! I think I've figured it out. Loss of libido by women on the pill is causing males to start turning to other males. At least that seems to be the finding of researchers who put female chimpanzies on the pill. For more click http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id... target='_blank'>HERE

A 19 y.o. kid legally changed his name from Chris Garrett to KentuckyFriedCrueltyDotCom.He was protesting chicken growers clipping the beaks on baby chickens. Evidently nobody could convince this nitwit that the practice is to keep the chicks from pecking each other to death. For more clickhttp://www.msnbc.msn.com/id... target='_blank'>HERE

What will they come up with next? Rabbi CrueltyToLittleBoysDotCom? Or SaveTheForeskinsDotCom?

Here's one for "youze guys".

Wouldn't you like to see Judge Alito and Chief Justice Roberts questioning the Democrat Senators to determine their qualifications for public office? Just imagine matching the IQs of the Senators and the Judges!

The questions might go like this.............................

Judge Alito (JA): "Senator Kennedy, I see from your official resume that you attended Harvard University..."

Senator Kennedy (SK): "Yes, your honor, I certainly did."

JA: "Did you graduate?"

SK: "Your honor, I respectfully ask that you not pry into my personal life..."

JA: "Is it not true that you were expelled from Harvard for violating the honor code, to wit, you hired someone to take an exam for you?"

SK: "Mr. Chairman, I want to go on record that I disagree with this line of questioning. I ask the chair to order the Judge from asking questions about my private matters.."

Senator Specter, Chairman of the Judiciary Committee: "Answer the Judge's questions. He answered all of yours.."

JA: "Senator Kennedy, we have on hand a transcript of the session of the university's honor council attesting to your fraudulent examination and subsequent expulsion from the university..."

SK: "I have had all I can take of this line of unreasonable questioning. I am going to ask Al Gore how he managed to keep his early departure from Vanderbilt University Divinity School away from the eyes of you religious nuts..."

JA: "Wait, Senator Kennedy, I want to ask you about the 26 phone calls you made from a motel room the night Mary Jo Kopecne drowned in your car at Chappaquidik, when you said you were asleep all night.." [ Kennedy flees the hearing room.]

Senator Specter: "Chief Justice Roberts [CJR] will now interrogate Senator Biden [SB}, Democrat of Delaware..."

CJR: "Senator Biden, is it not true that you were expelled from law school for plagiarizing another student's work?"

SB: "Wait, Ted, I am going with you..." [ Biden flees the hearing room.]

Senator Specter: "Judge Alito will now interrogate Senator Feinstein, Democrat of California..."

JA: "Senator Feinstein [SF], why did you vote for the former Grand Kleagle of the Ku Klux Klan of West Virginia [Robert Byrd] to be the Democrat Senate Majority Leader in 1986, 1988, 1990, and 1992?"

SF: "Wait, boys, I am going with you..." [Feinstein flees the hearing room.]

[ end of hearing ]

Confidential to BIRDDOG: I don't like Teddy Kennedy either.

SOMEONE PLEASE HELP!!!!

Some folks studying and doing research at TAMUCC are promoting various ways to help folks in disadvantaged areas. One thing they've asked me to do is find sources for rice straw. They show how to stack it, cover it with stucco, and build houses with it. The insulation R value is fantastic. The stucco should render the structure fireproof as well as fairly reasonable to build.

WOULD ANY OF YOU RICE PRODUCERS BE WILLING TO DONATE YOUR UNUSED STRAW TO THESE FOLKS? Would anyone be willing to haul the straw for building colonias (sp?)?

Can someone please tell me how to tell if the songs on a CD or DVD have been clipped by a rabbi? I bought some Jim Reeves CDs on ebay. They were advertised as being NEW, NEVER PLAYED, NEVER OPENED. There was no indication that the tracks were not full length.

UPDATE: I wrote the vendor asking this question. Here's what she wrote back:
"Yes, it is a good idea to read the whole item description. If it states that the CD might contain remakes or live recordings, that it is a budget CD, you may want to look elsewhere. This CD did have this disclaimer in the item description. Please see the disclaimer from this auction pasted below. It seems that you would only want the original recordings."
NOw to reread the auction description AGAIN for the 3rd or 4th time.

From a faithful reader we get this report from the Iraqi front: "Yes, true or not it demonstrates the true spirit of our ground troops. However, according to XXXXXXXXX the majority of them think Bush, Cheney, and Rummy are "dog *hit cowards" who got us into something they fear is unwinnable and stalemated. Most of xxxxxxxx's Bros also realize we went in there undermanned, ill equipt and aren't buying into the rhetoric out of the mouths of their elected leaders. But, they have little choice and as soldiers, follow orders from above.

"And I might add in my less than humble, but highly experienced opinion, anyone who thinks Bush and company are anything but lying, cowardly, scumball, chickenhawks have their heads stuck permanently in their poorly informed neocon *sses!"

What do YOU say?

FOR OUR CHOCOHOLIC BLOGGER GALS:
CHOCOLATE SINGS (SORRY I COULDN'T ADD THE PIX. FOR REAL SLOBBERIN' CHOCO PIX EMAIL ME AT MY CONTACT POINT)

One day I had a date for lunch with friends. Mae, a little old "blue hair" about 80 years old, came along with them—- All in all, a pleasant bunch. When the menus were presented, we ordered salads, sandwiches, and soups, except for Mae who said, "Ice Cream, please. Two scoops, chocolate."

I wasn't sure my ears heard right, and the others were aghast. "Along with heated apple pie," Mae added, completely unabashed. We tried to act quite nonchalant, as if people did this all the time. But when our orders were brought out, I didn't enjoy mine. I couldn't take my eyes off Mae as her pie a-la-mode went down. The other ladies showed dismay. They ate their lunches silently and frowned.

The next time I went out to eat, I called and invited Mae. I lunched on white meat tuna. She ordered a parfait. I smiled. She asked if she amused me. I answered, "Yes, you do, but also you confuse me. How come you order rich desserts, while I feel I must be sensible?

She laughed and said, with wanton mirth, "I'm tasting all that's possible.
I try to eat the food I need, and do the things I should. But life's so short, my friend, I hate missing out on something good. This year I realized how old I was. (She grinned) I haven't been this old before."

"So, before I die, I've got to try those things that for years I had
Ignored. I haven't smelled all the flowers yet. There are too many books I haven't read. There's more fudge sundaes to wolf down and kites to be flown overhead. There are many malls I haven't shopped. I've not laughed at all the jokes. I've missed a lot of Broadway hits and potato chips and cokes. I want to wade again in water and feel ocean spray on my face. I want to sit in a country church once more and thank God for His grace. I want peanut butter every day spread on my morning toast. I want UN-timed long distance calls to the folks I love the most. I haven't cried at all the movies yet, or walked in the morning rain. I need to feel wind in my hair. I want to fall in love again. So, if I choose to have dessert, instead of having dinner, then should I die before night fall, I'd say I died a winner, because I missed out on nothing. I filled my heart's desire. I had that final chocolate mousse before my life expired."

With that, I called the waitress over. "I've changed my mind," I said. "I want what she is having, only add some more whipped cream!"

This is my gift to you - We need an annual Friends Day! If you get this twice, then you have more than one friend.

Live well, love much & laugh often - Be Happy !

PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS IF YOU WANT TO.

Be mindful that happiness isn't based on possessions, power, or prestige, but on relationships with people we love and respect. Remember that while money talks, CHOCOLATE SINGS !