http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/ChrisCobler/7757 Quite a few readers reacted strongly to Monday's B1 feature on two new fathers. The story idea was to find a dad whose child was born this Father's Day. As it turns out, both of the fathers at DeTar Hospital were not married to their child's mother. We didn't comment on that fact in the story, but several callers and many online readers did. To be clear, our intent was not to glorify or to criticize unwed parents. We set out only to find a new father for Father's Day. According to the most recent national statistic I've found, single mothers accounted for 36 percent of all births nationwide. We're checking for more recent information and for statistics specific to the Crossroads region. My hunch is that the percentage is even higher in our area. Given that, the odds are good that we'll encounter unwed parents whenever we set out to do such a feature on Father's Day or on New Year's. We understand why some readers might find this societal trend alarming. We also recognize some single parents and their children, such as Aprill Brandon in her blog today, may have a different perspective. A newspaper tries to portray reality. It's up to all of us -- and a higher authority -- to change society. Quite a few readers reacted strongly to Monday's B1 feature on two new fathers. The story idea was to find a dad whose child was born this Father's Day. As it turns out, both of the fathers at DeTar Hospital were not married to their child's mother. We didn't comment on that fact in the story, but several callers and many online readers did. To be clear, our intent was not to glorify or to criticize unwed parents. We set out only to find a new father for Father's Day. According to the most recent national statistic I've found, single mothers accounted for 36 percent of all births nationwide. We're checking for more recent information and for statistics specific to the Crossroads region. My hunch is that the percentage is even higher in our area. Given that, the odds are good that we'll encounter unwed parents whenever we set out to do such a feature on Father's Day or on New Year's. We understand why some readers might find this societal trend alarming. We also recognize some single parents and their children, such as Aprill Brandon in her blog today, may have a different perspective. A newspaper tries to portray reality. It's up to all of us -- and a higher authority -- to change society. en-us Chris, Thanks for addressing your method of searching out this story.I don't agree with the glorifying of single parenthood, especially on Fathers Day. Unfortunately, the fact that both new fathers you located may speak volumes about where our society is headed. For every "April Brandon", I fear there are many more stories with a less than happy outcome. How about a followup a year from now to note the challenges, hopefully triumphs of the featured "Family"? http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/ChrisCobler/7757/#c_53938 http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/ChrisCobler/7757/#c_53938 Chris, Thanks for addressing your method of searching out this story.I don't agree with the glorifying of single parenthood, especially on Fathers Day. Unfortunately, the fact that both new fathers you located may speak volumes about where our society is headed. For every "April Brandon", I fear there are many more stories with a less than happy outcome. How about a followup a year from now to note the challenges, hopefully triumphs of the featured "Family"? Bighorn, That's a pretty good story idea if either or both of the fathers involved is game. Thanks, Chris http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/ChrisCobler/7757/#c_53940 http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/ChrisCobler/7757/#c_53940 Bighorn, That's a pretty good story idea if either or both of the fathers involved is game. Thanks, Chris Bighorn, Once again, where did the Advocate glorify single parenthood? The story was about a NEW FATHER, not single parenthood. And as far as we know, the 2 people involved are a couple so where again is this single parenthood? The definition of single parent is someone raising their child ALONE....SINGLE.  It didn't look that way by reading the story. Maybe you should read it again. Why didn't you comment on Aprill's story? Chris, I can't believe readers actually call and complained about this story...unbelievable. http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/ChrisCobler/7757/#c_53949 http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/ChrisCobler/7757/#c_53949 Bighorn, Once again, where did the Advocate glorify single parenthood? The story was about a NEW FATHER, not single parenthood. And as far as we know, the 2 people involved are a couple so where again is this single parenthood? The definition of single parent is someone raising their child ALONE....SINGLE.  It didn't look that way by reading the story. Maybe you should read it again. Why didn't you comment on Aprill's story? Chris, I can't believe readers actually call and complained about this story...unbelievable.   Why wouldn't an unwed or divorced or widowed father be featured on Father's Day? I could point out Aprill's upbringing in a single parent household(great story today Aprill), or I could point to a couple of dear friends of mine who have done a wonderful job by choice, of raising beautiful, educated and successful in their own right, children, as single parents. It galls me that people will overlook the spirit of a story, and dissect it or unearth facts own their own, regarding the principal of the story, and find details to nitpick or criticize for the sake of  being critical. It was a story about being a father, on Father's Day. That is a daunting task whether you are a brand new father, or coming home to teenagers. Father's day is to celebrate dads, and hardly a time to single one out for his marital status. http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/ChrisCobler/7757/#c_53955 http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/ChrisCobler/7757/#c_53955   Why wouldn't an unwed or divorced or widowed father be featured on Father's Day? I could point out Aprill's upbringing in a single parent household(great story today Aprill), or I could point to a couple of dear friends of mine who have done a wonderful job by choice, of raising beautiful, educated and successful in their own right, children, as single parents. It galls me that people will overlook the spirit of a story, and dissect it or unearth facts own their own, regarding the principal of the story, and find details to nitpick or criticize for the sake of  being critical. It was a story about being a father, on Father's Day. That is a daunting task whether you are a brand new father, or coming home to teenagers. Father's day is to celebrate dads, and hardly a time to single one out for his marital status. BIghorn, we all know that you are very old school.  In a century of sue happy people, why wouldnt the paper print something about what ever makes news.  Its not the kids fault and lets face it, read the births every Sunday, At least 9 out of 10 babies born are to parents that arent legally married.  And while we are on the subject.  OVer 14 years ago, a close freind was blessed with a beautiful granddaughter.  Everyone in town talked because she was born to ______ and ______.  The couple was legally married, the woman chose to remain with her maiden name......get with the program and stop being a big bully.  http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/ChrisCobler/7757/#c_53985 http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/ChrisCobler/7757/#c_53985 BIghorn, we all know that you are very old school.  In a century of sue happy people, why wouldnt the paper print something about what ever makes news.  Its not the kids fault and lets face it, read the births every Sunday, At least 9 out of 10 babies born are to parents that arent legally married.  And while we are on the subject.  OVer 14 years ago, a close freind was blessed with a beautiful granddaughter.  Everyone in town talked because she was born to ______ and ______.  The couple was legally married, the woman chose to remain with her maiden name......get with the program and stop being a big bully.  Pilot, I have never agreed to anything you have ever said.  Today I do.  I have been a single mother for over 25 years and there arent any reason single people cant raise good kids.   A lot of married couples dont.  I hate that the world has the idea that the only kids that go bad come from single parent homes.  http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/ChrisCobler/7757/#c_53986 http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/ChrisCobler/7757/#c_53986 Pilot, I have never agreed to anything you have ever said.  Today I do.  I have been a single mother for over 25 years and there arent any reason single people cant raise good kids.   A lot of married couples dont.  I hate that the world has the idea that the only kids that go bad come from single parent homes.  The issue at hand is not a moral one but a social issue. We as a society have placed parenting equal to issues such as career and hobbies. It is magical thinking to hold that children can be raised in the 45 minutes after work and before night school while parents expand their horizons or engage in another pursuit . Folks tell themselves that to justify the neglect but TYC, TDCJ, drug rehabs, youth homes, 12 step meetings, and other places lost souls end up are full of "you can have it all" moms, and dads who said "no thank you" to the sacrifices it would take to make that possible. http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/ChrisCobler/7757/#c_53997 http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/ChrisCobler/7757/#c_53997 The issue at hand is not a moral one but a social issue. We as a society have placed parenting equal to issues such as career and hobbies. It is magical thinking to hold that children can be raised in the 45 minutes after work and before night school while parents expand their horizons or engage in another pursuit . Folks tell themselves that to justify the neglect but TYC, TDCJ, drug rehabs, youth homes, 12 step meetings, and other places lost souls end up are full of "you can have it all" moms, and dads who said "no thank you" to the sacrifices it would take to make that possible. Ok, Ok, I'm an old fashioned, close minded fart with no clue what is going on in our society. Have any of you assisted a single mother dealing with the trials of teen boy feeling his manhood ready to rule the world? Have you struggled with a friend who is forced to explain female "changes" to his 6th grade daughter because her mother is not around? Sat in emergency room and watched a woman alone bring in a sick child and struggled to hold herslf together as the doctor treats her child. Counseled a single mother who is talking to Attorney General about collecting child support, and trying to pay her rent, car payment, and still go to HEB? I have. But then again, I'm just an old fashioned fart. When our society began to accept as "ok" for men to father children as a hobby or passion, move on to "better things", and ignore their responsiblities our society began to decline at a rapid rate. A hearty "thank all of you" for confirming my thoughts. I am out of step. Alll of the other posters "I know people" and "I have friends" arguments win again. http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/ChrisCobler/7757/#c_54001 http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/ChrisCobler/7757/#c_54001 Ok, Ok, I'm an old fashioned, close minded fart with no clue what is going on in our society. Have any of you assisted a single mother dealing with the trials of teen boy feeling his manhood ready to rule the world? Have you struggled with a friend who is forced to explain female "changes" to his 6th grade daughter because her mother is not around? Sat in emergency room and watched a woman alone bring in a sick child and struggled to hold herslf together as the doctor treats her child. Counseled a single mother who is talking to Attorney General about collecting child support, and trying to pay her rent, car payment, and still go to HEB? I have. But then again, I'm just an old fashioned fart. When our society began to accept as "ok" for men to father children as a hobby or passion, move on to "better things", and ignore their responsiblities our society began to decline at a rapid rate. A hearty "thank all of you" for confirming my thoughts. I am out of step. Alll of the other posters "I know people" and "I have friends" arguments win again. Bighorn, You say you have been a witness to all those situations where single parents who have to overcome situations they do not know how to handle. Well have you ever seen a mother whose husband is beating, abusing, or molesting their child, male or female? Have you ever helped those single mothers who had no choice but to walk away from their abusing husbands for the sake of said children? Or those single fathers who chose to step up to the plate when their wives ran off with other men? There are a million situations to account for and not all of those single parents in those situations are that way by choice. Single parents may have, at one point been married, but are now raising their children on their own to protect their children. What are the circumstances of the situations that you used for your negative examples? You can't pick and chose what you want to acknowledge in this life. Times change and things change, that is the one thing that is certain in this life.     http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/ChrisCobler/7757/#c_54010 http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/ChrisCobler/7757/#c_54010 Bighorn, You say you have been a witness to all those situations where single parents who have to overcome situations they do not know how to handle. Well have you ever seen a mother whose husband is beating, abusing, or molesting their child, male or female? Have you ever helped those single mothers who had no choice but to walk away from their abusing husbands for the sake of said children? Or those single fathers who chose to step up to the plate when their wives ran off with other men? There are a million situations to account for and not all of those single parents in those situations are that way by choice. Single parents may have, at one point been married, but are now raising their children on their own to protect their children. What are the circumstances of the situations that you used for your negative examples? You can't pick and chose what you want to acknowledge in this life. Times change and things change, that is the one thing that is certain in this life.     Bighorn, the answer to your question is YES.  Ive lived those things.  I have health issues right now from doing without for children when I was younger.  I cooked, the children were served and if there wasnt enough, I simply did without.  But get this!  Children area a gift from God.  God loans us children here on earth and along with that comes a certain responsibility.  If the parent or parents choose not to take that responsibility, then its their loss.  I cant begin to count the awesome moments that my first husband missed with his kids when he "disappeared" and hid out because he wasnt paying child support.  And as much bullpoop that my kids dished out over all these years and all that they put me though as a single parent, I wouldnt do it any differently if I had the chance.  http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/ChrisCobler/7757/#c_54033 http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/ChrisCobler/7757/#c_54033 Bighorn, the answer to your question is YES.  Ive lived those things.  I have health issues right now from doing without for children when I was younger.  I cooked, the children were served and if there wasnt enough, I simply did without.  But get this!  Children area a gift from God.  God loans us children here on earth and along with that comes a certain responsibility.  If the parent or parents choose not to take that responsibility, then its their loss.  I cant begin to count the awesome moments that my first husband missed with his kids when he "disappeared" and hid out because he wasnt paying child support.  And as much bullpoop that my kids dished out over all these years and all that they put me though as a single parent, I wouldnt do it any differently if I had the chance.  This is not about your blog but it is about the poll. It doesn't matter if a child has married, divorced, single or unwed parents as long as they have caring parent(s).   http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/ChrisCobler/7757/#c_54069 http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/ChrisCobler/7757/#c_54069 This is not about your blog but it is about the poll. It doesn't matter if a child has married, divorced, single or unwed parents as long as they have caring parent(s).