http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/G/7265 (Blogger's note: Yes, I know my rantings are scattershot and I use obscure pop culture references. If you don't get something, Google is your friend) Okay, so the star of Taxi gets to host "Late Night" after Conan O'Brien takes over "The Tonight Show" from Jay Leno? No, I don't mean "Taxi" as in Andy Kaufman. I mean Taxi, that awful movie from a few years ago. Oh, and I'm not even referring to Queen Latifah when I say star (even though she has charm and an Oscar nomination to her credit). No, the geniuses at NBC have decreed that the untalented and unprofessional Jimmy Fallon shall take the reins of "Late Night" in 2009. And I seriously can't think of a worse choice for the job. I'll admit I stopped frequently viewing "Saturday Night Live" years ago, and a big reason was The Untalented Mr. Fallon. Constantly breaking character, flubbing lines, and showcasing hack comedian skills. I could go on for days about how I dislike the guy and have no shred of respect for his talent, but I'll save you my most acidic tongue. So many give him a free pass because "he's cute." I don't see it that way. Quite simply, he's that annoying kid in your classroom that imitates what he saw on TV last night and thinks he's actually entertaining you. Somehow, he's made a career out of this. Immediately I can think of several people I'd rather see host "Late Night." Alas, it appears anyone can host a television show nowadays. I mean, even Dory has a talk show ("Just keep swimming… Just keep swimming!). But for every Ellen, there's a bald security guy from Jerry Springer that gets his own show. Off the top of my head, these fictional characters can be a better host than Fallon. The Volkswagen Beetle from the "Das Auto" ads. He's German. He's playful… …and he can handle Bobby Knight. No easy task. Just ask Jeremy Schapp. The Cloverfield Monster At least with this one, we could all expect a huge disaster. Oh wait. We do know Fallon's stale act is capable of destroying NBC's lineup. Seems only they don't know it yet. And no, I know that's not the real monster. I didn't wanna spoil it for those that haven't rented it yet. Or DID I??? Space Ghost He at least has the resume... Okay, so now that I got my snarky/sarcastic quota out of the way. I now plead to NBC to instead consider these realistic alternatives to the unfunny Jimmy Fallon. Arsenio Hall Truth be told, this started as a joke entry, but then I got to thinking... If they want to chase the minority demographic, this could be realistic. Now that we're all old enough for 1990's fads to make a comeback, why not Arsenio? What else is he doing? Seriously, if they hire Neal Brennan (co-creator of "The Chappelle Show") and get Charlie Murphy to be Hall's Ed McMahon... Recruit Paul Mooney, and I'm there. Odd thing is… I could see Obama showing up on this show. And I could easily envision an encore performance by this guy. Eddie Izzard Not the Eddie from Oceans 12 or even from "The Riches." I'm talking about vintage, executive transvestite Eddie from Dress to Kill era. The monologues would be gold, and you know it. I'd watch it every night. Ok, I'd try to. Or I'd DVR it if I remember. Or I'd probably put it on the Netflix queue. Or I'll listen for people at work to comment on it and then pass the stories to others to pretend that I'm hip enough to watch it. That reminds me, I've never watched "The Riches." Zach Braff Mostly because he needs to move on from "Scrubs." I know some people find him incredibly annoying, but I put him on here because he does have charisma, and he'd probably help book some incredible musical guests. You'd never have to worry about seeing Ashlee Simpson hoe down off stage on his show. Amy Sedaris First, I'd like to point out that she doesn't normally wear glasses. So don't think she's as annoying as Tina Fey. Ha ha. I think Sedaris is plausible as a talk show host simply because she has an infectious sense of joy. Unless you ever watched "Strangers With Candy," you're probably unfamiliar with her work. And that actually works to her advantage as a possible host. If you want to catch her in this setting, watch for her appearances on Letterman. She's great! I don't know how she does it, but she's so relaxed yet goofy and comically manic in her delivery. This may sound weird, but her bizarre brand of dorky wholesomeness makes it seem like she'd make an awesome nanny. So surely she could babysit my attention span for an hour late at night. If that made sense. Ha ha. Michael Cera You want to target that youth demographic, NBC? Here you go. This kid has been comedic gold since "Arrested Development." Unlike, say, Shia LeBeouf (finally cool now after Disturbia and Transformers) who has "Even Stevens" on his filmography. I'm a huge fan of Cera's. I actually wanted to see him host the Oscars over John Stewart. As a talk show host he could shine. He can even bring in Jonah Hill as his own part time Andy Richter to recreate Superbad banter on occasion. So whether I was joking or not, all of these candidates would have made a better choice than Jimmy Friggin Fallon. If I wanted to have him on my screen, I'd pop in my copy of Almost Famous (I'll admit, he is very good as the cocky manager of Stillwater). Or just wait for FX to show Fever Pitch for the billionth time. Or click on E! to watch reruns of him ruining perfectly good sketches with him breaking character on SNL. What's he gonna do on Late Night? Giggle to himself for an hour? Laugh at his own monologue? Oh well, at least it's not comparable to Drew Carey replacing Bob Barker. Now if Jimmy Fallon replaced Johnny Carson, THEN it'd be offensive. Let's just cross fingers that this failed clown doesn't get handed "The Tonight Show" in 15 years. THAT will be cause for pitchforks and torches. Oh well, I guess it's time to start talking bets on how bad this show will be. Pat Sajak show bad? Magic Johnson show bad? Will Jimmy Fallon become a term to describe "awfulness?" The way football fans think of Ryan Leaf? Oh well, NBC made their choice. Time to sink with it. Ride that taxi to its destination, if you will. Personally, if faced with the choice of a braindead comic and an actual dead comic, I'd much rather have Andy Kaufman, thankyouverymuch. (Blogger's note: Yes, I know my rantings are scattershot and I use obscure pop culture references. If you don't get something, Google is your friend) Okay, so the star of Taxi gets to host "Late Night" after Conan O'Brien takes over "The Tonight Show" from Jay Leno? No, I don't mean "Taxi" as in Andy Kaufman. I mean Taxi, that awful movie from a few years ago. Oh, and I'm not even referring to Queen Latifah when I say star (even though she has charm and an Oscar nomination to her credit). No, the geniuses at NBC have decreed that the untalented and unprofessional Jimmy Fallon shall take the reins of "Late Night" in 2009. And I seriously can't think of a worse choice for the job. I'll admit I stopped frequently viewing "Saturday Night Live" years ago, and a big reason was The Untalented Mr. Fallon. Constantly breaking character, flubbing lines, and showcasing hack comedian skills. I could go on for days about how I dislike the guy and have no shred of respect for his talent, but I'll save you my most acidic tongue. So many give him a free pass because "he's cute." I don't see it that way. Quite simply, he's that annoying kid in your classroom that imitates what he saw on TV last night and thinks he's actually entertaining you. Somehow, he's made a career out of this. Immediately I can think of several people I'd rather see host "Late Night." Alas, it appears anyone can host a television show nowadays. I mean, even Dory has a talk show ("Just keep swimming… Just keep swimming!). But for every Ellen, there's a bald security guy from Jerry Springer that gets his own show. Off the top of my head, these fictional characters can be a better host than Fallon. The Volkswagen Beetle from the "Das Auto" ads. He's German. He's playful… …and he can handle Bobby Knight. No easy task. Just ask Jeremy Schapp. The Cloverfield Monster At least with this one, we could all expect a huge disaster. Oh wait. We do know Fallon's stale act is capable of destroying NBC's lineup. Seems only they don't know it yet. And no, I know that's not the real monster. I didn't wanna spoil it for those that haven't rented it yet. Or DID I??? Space Ghost He at least has the resume... Okay, so now that I got my snarky/sarcastic quota out of the way. I now plead to NBC to instead consider these realistic alternatives to the unfunny Jimmy Fallon. Arsenio Hall Truth be told, this started as a joke entry, but then I got to thinking... If they want to chase the minority demographic, this could be realistic. Now that we're all old enough for 1990's fads to make a comeback, why not Arsenio? What else is he doing? Seriously, if they hire Neal Brennan (co-creator of "The Chappelle Show") and get Charlie Murphy to be Hall's Ed McMahon... Recruit Paul Mooney, and I'm there. Odd thing is… I could see Obama showing up on this show. And I could easily envision an encore performance by this guy. Eddie Izzard Not the Eddie from Oceans 12 or even from "The Riches." I'm talking about vintage, executive transvestite Eddie from Dress to Kill era. The monologues would be gold, and you know it. I'd watch it every night. Ok, I'd try to. Or I'd DVR it if I remember. Or I'd probably put it on the Netflix queue. Or I'll listen for people at work to comment on it and then pass the stories to others to pretend that I'm hip enough to watch it. That reminds me, I've never watched "The Riches." Zach Braff Mostly because he needs to move on from "Scrubs." I know some people find him incredibly annoying, but I put him on here because he does have charisma, and he'd probably help book some incredible musical guests. You'd never have to worry about seeing Ashlee Simpson hoe down off stage on his show. Amy Sedaris First, I'd like to point out that she doesn't normally wear glasses. So don't think she's as annoying as Tina Fey. Ha ha. I think Sedaris is plausible as a talk show host simply because she has an infectious sense of joy. Unless you ever watched "Strangers With Candy," you're probably unfamiliar with her work. And that actually works to her advantage as a possible host. If you want to catch her in this setting, watch for her appearances on Letterman. She's great! I don't know how she does it, but she's so relaxed yet goofy and comically manic in her delivery. This may sound weird, but her bizarre brand of dorky wholesomeness makes it seem like she'd make an awesome nanny. So surely she could babysit my attention span for an hour late at night. If that made sense. Ha ha. Michael Cera You want to target that youth demographic, NBC? Here you go. This kid has been comedic gold since "Arrested Development." Unlike, say, Shia LeBeouf (finally cool now after Disturbia and Transformers) who has "Even Stevens" on his filmography. I'm a huge fan of Cera's. I actually wanted to see him host the Oscars over John Stewart. As a talk show host he could shine. He can even bring in Jonah Hill as his own part time Andy Richter to recreate Superbad banter on occasion. So whether I was joking or not, all of these candidates would have made a better choice than Jimmy Friggin Fallon. If I wanted to have him on my screen, I'd pop in my copy of Almost Famous (I'll admit, he is very good as the cocky manager of Stillwater). Or just wait for FX to show Fever Pitch for the billionth time. Or click on E! to watch reruns of him ruining perfectly good sketches with him breaking character on SNL. What's he gonna do on Late Night? Giggle to himself for an hour? Laugh at his own monologue? Oh well, at least it's not comparable to Drew Carey replacing Bob Barker. Now if Jimmy Fallon replaced Johnny Carson, THEN it'd be offensive. Let's just cross fingers that this failed clown doesn't get handed "The Tonight Show" in 15 years. THAT will be cause for pitchforks and torches. Oh well, I guess it's time to start talking bets on how bad this show will be. Pat Sajak show bad? Magic Johnson show bad? Will Jimmy Fallon become a term to describe "awfulness?" The way football fans think of Ryan Leaf? Oh well, NBC made their choice. Time to sink with it. Ride that taxi to its destination, if you will. Personally, if faced with the choice of a braindead comic and an actual dead comic, I'd much rather have Andy Kaufman, thankyouverymuch. en-us Jimmy Fallon as a talk show host....it could work.  Maybe his theme song will be "Idiot Boyfriend", kind of dumb but funny at the same time.  Now I'm going to have to completely disagree with you and say Amy Sedaris is an awful choice.  Strangers with Candy, in my opinion, was one of the lamest shows ever, I tried to watch it but couldn't.  If I had to pick someone out of your many choices, I'd go with Space Ghost, hands down best talk show ever!  Brak was the funniest character on that show! http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/G/7265/#c_47114 http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/G/7265/#c_47114 Jimmy Fallon as a talk show host....it could work.  Maybe his theme song will be "Idiot Boyfriend", kind of dumb but funny at the same time.  Now I'm going to have to completely disagree with you and say Amy Sedaris is an awful choice.  Strangers with Candy, in my opinion, was one of the lamest shows ever, I tried to watch it but couldn't.  If I had to pick someone out of your many choices, I'd go with Space Ghost, hands down best talk show ever!  Brak was the funniest character on that show! whatever...Jimmy Fallon Rocks!!!.  Sorry  you don't get his sense of humor, but millions of other people do and more than likely would agree with me when i say,  I fiNAlly have a reason to watch Late Night....with JIMMY FALLON!!! YES!! http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/G/7265/#c_47242 http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/G/7265/#c_47242 whatever...Jimmy Fallon Rocks!!!.  Sorry  you don't get his sense of humor, but millions of other people do and more than likely would agree with me when i say,  I fiNAlly have a reason to watch Late Night....with JIMMY FALLON!!! YES!!