http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/pilot/7871 Call it what you will….the privy, the latrine, the head, the can , the john, or the little shack out back, rich or poor, black or white (or blue in the face), I mean we all gotta go, right? Before we get too far here in my little dissertation on semi-public restrooms and my pet peeves associated with them, be forewarned, some potty humor may creep into this one. When I say "semi public", I am speaking here of the workplace and their porcelain throne emporiums. And my beef is really not so much with the rooms per se, as with the client base they cater to. In other words people can just be pigs! All you need to do to find out how many adult professionals still go through life thinking their mother is right behind them with a mop and a waste basket and a vacuum and a dish towel, is come to my office for a day, and hang around the office fridge, coffee bar, and the men's room. (I would like after reading this, to hear from some of you as to whether the ladies' rooms compare). I do still respect the "Ladies" sign on the door, and never, never go in there, except maybe late at night to change the film in the camera......JUST KIDDING! (it's digital). NO, seriously now, I think I might have blogged once before about a similar subject or the exceedingly poor throne to hiney ratio at my last office, and how in a twelve story office building, after I had duck walked from floor to floor, and finally found a handicapped stall that I honestly made it into with mere seconds to spare, when I exited the stall, the one and only scooter bound person in the building, like Murphy's Law, is sitting outside the door staring at me with a look on his face like a kicked puppy as I walked by. This little rant though is more about the clientele than the building. First, I think each stall should be equipped with a dookey detector, and that the door should lock behind each user and not unlock until the facility was as clean as it was when they entered. That would mean a brush and some pine sol would have to be in each stall, but so what? I can't count the times i have walked into a stall, and wanted to turn and run and warn the others. It ain't right to have to walk in, needing in the very near future, to answer nature's call in peaceful comfort, only to gaze upon a sight where the first two phrases that come to mind are muzzle velocity, and shot pattern spread, if you get my drift here. This has given me a whole new measure of respect for the folks whose task it is to go put that sign in the door and clean up after us as we walk by complaining about the "closed for cleaning" status and tighten the cheeks and try to calculate which next closest privvy we have a chance to make it to. About the only complaint I can come up with for those poor Latrinos and Latrinas, is for one, their timing and not knowing that I am a coffee hound (Iced from "It's A Grind" preferably), and that they are unaware when they put that "housekeeping" barricade in the doorway, that in addition to my swilling down wholesale amounts of coffee, I have also taken two diuretics for blood pressure, and that my range for finding relief is limited.  Oh and maybe the little beef I have about the fact that they apparently use some sort of hydraulic press to load the paper towel dispenser, making a compressed wad of towels that you could ricochet a 9mm slug off of, and when trying to remove a towel or two, only come out with matchbook sized strips. Okay.....I am finished bellyaching about the john for now. I think I'll do one next on the office refrigerator....oh, and please if you are offended by my camera joke, trust me I have read the stories of the pervs that got caught with video cameras set up to tape in such locations as locker rooms and such. I was just as aghast as you were to read those stories of them getting caught. Some people.......I thought everyone knew you have to put some duct tape over that flashing red light............. Call it what you will….the privy, the latrine, the head, the can , the john, or the little shack out back, rich or poor, black or white (or blue in the face), I mean we all gotta go, right? Before we get too far here in my little dissertation on semi-public restrooms and my pet peeves associated with them, be forewarned, some potty humor may creep into this one. When I say "semi public", I am speaking here of the workplace and their porcelain throne emporiums. And my beef is really not so much with the rooms per se, as with the client base they cater to. In other words people can just be pigs! All you need to do to find out how many adult professionals still go through life thinking their mother is right behind them with a mop and a waste basket and a vacuum and a dish towel, is come to my office for a day, and hang around the office fridge, coffee bar, and the men's room. (I would like after reading this, to hear from some of you as to whether the ladies' rooms compare). I do still respect the "Ladies" sign on the door, and never, never go in there, except maybe late at night to change the film in the camera......JUST KIDDING! (it's digital). NO, seriously now, I think I might have blogged once before about a similar subject or the exceedingly poor throne to hiney ratio at my last office, and how in a twelve story office building, after I had duck walked from floor to floor, and finally found a handicapped stall that I honestly made it into with mere seconds to spare, when I exited the stall, the one and only scooter bound person in the building, like Murphy's Law, is sitting outside the door staring at me with a look on his face like a kicked puppy as I walked by. This little rant though is more about the clientele than the building. First, I think each stall should be equipped with a dookey detector, and that the door should lock behind each user and not unlock until the facility was as clean as it was when they entered. That would mean a brush and some pine sol would have to be in each stall, but so what? I can't count the times i have walked into a stall, and wanted to turn and run and warn the others. It ain't right to have to walk in, needing in the very near future, to answer nature's call in peaceful comfort, only to gaze upon a sight where the first two phrases that come to mind are muzzle velocity, and shot pattern spread, if you get my drift here. This has given me a whole new measure of respect for the folks whose task it is to go put that sign in the door and clean up after us as we walk by complaining about the "closed for cleaning" status and tighten the cheeks and try to calculate which next closest privvy we have a chance to make it to. About the only complaint I can come up with for those poor Latrinos and Latrinas, is for one, their timing and not knowing that I am a coffee hound (Iced from "It's A Grind" preferably), and that they are unaware when they put that "housekeeping" barricade in the doorway, that in addition to my swilling down wholesale amounts of coffee, I have also taken two diuretics for blood pressure, and that my range for finding relief is limited.  Oh and maybe the little beef I have about the fact that they apparently use some sort of hydraulic press to load the paper towel dispenser, making a compressed wad of towels that you could ricochet a 9mm slug off of, and when trying to remove a towel or two, only come out with matchbook sized strips. Okay.....I am finished bellyaching about the john for now. I think I'll do one next on the office refrigerator....oh, and please if you are offended by my camera joke, trust me I have read the stories of the pervs that got caught with video cameras set up to tape in such locations as locker rooms and such. I was just as aghast as you were to read those stories of them getting caught. Some people.......I thought everyone knew you have to put some duct tape over that flashing red light............. en-us Being plagued with a delicate lower GI system myself, I am all too familier with emergency potty breaks.  I can't speak of office buildings much, but gas stations.....ARRRGGGGGH!  There have been times when time permitted, I went elsewhere.  There have also been times when it was any ol' port in a storm and glad to get it.  I have to admit, though that gas stations seem to be cleaning up their act -- so to speak.  We took an 1800 mile vacation in April and I was surprised at how clean most of the gas station restrooms were that I made use of.  What really surprised me was the level -- or lack thereof -- of cleanliness my wife reported in ladies rooms at the same stations.  At one station in particular, I was very pleased and had commented to the manager behind the desk to that effect.  My wife came out later and complained that the ladies room "would gag a maggot on a gut wagon."  What's going on with the ladies these days?  I suppose the problem just might be with the level of expectation I have is not the same as hers, but she generally found ladies rooms at gas stations to be bad. http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/pilot/7871/#c_55378 http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/pilot/7871/#c_55378 Being plagued with a delicate lower GI system myself, I am all too familier with emergency potty breaks.  I can't speak of office buildings much, but gas stations.....ARRRGGGGGH!  There have been times when time permitted, I went elsewhere.  There have also been times when it was any ol' port in a storm and glad to get it.  I have to admit, though that gas stations seem to be cleaning up their act -- so to speak.  We took an 1800 mile vacation in April and I was surprised at how clean most of the gas station restrooms were that I made use of.  What really surprised me was the level -- or lack thereof -- of cleanliness my wife reported in ladies rooms at the same stations.  At one station in particular, I was very pleased and had commented to the manager behind the desk to that effect.  My wife came out later and complained that the ladies room "would gag a maggot on a gut wagon."  What's going on with the ladies these days?  I suppose the problem just might be with the level of expectation I have is not the same as hers, but she generally found ladies rooms at gas stations to be bad. The port-a-potties on the bayfront in Seadrift are getting pretty ripe, too. http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/pilot/7871/#c_55431 http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/pilot/7871/#c_55431 The port-a-potties on the bayfront in Seadrift are getting pretty ripe, too. Funny story and so so true. From what I've seen in public restrooms is disgusting and I can't blame it all on the station not keeping it clean but I do agree it is a 50/50 filthy situation:).Come on,who the he** is gonna wipe DOO DOO on the walls?What about the nasty used sanitary napkins that some women leave out in the open when there's an empty can right next to the pot?Oh and don't let me forget about the awful smell of urine that comes from the mens restrooms! I don't know whom to blame that smell on. The idea of the stall doors being locked until it is clean is a good one but then again,one might decide to crawl under it,then once again WE are screwed. All I can say is flush! http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/pilot/7871/#c_55563 http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/pilot/7871/#c_55563 Funny story and so so true. From what I've seen in public restrooms is disgusting and I can't blame it all on the station not keeping it clean but I do agree it is a 50/50 filthy situation:).Come on,who the he** is gonna wipe DOO DOO on the walls?What about the nasty used sanitary napkins that some women leave out in the open when there's an empty can right next to the pot?Oh and don't let me forget about the awful smell of urine that comes from the mens restrooms! I don't know whom to blame that smell on. The idea of the stall doors being locked until it is clean is a good one but then again,one might decide to crawl under it,then once again WE are screwed. All I can say is flush! I suggest heading to the brush and enjoy nature. http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/pilot/7871/#c_55614 http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/pilot/7871/#c_55614 I suggest heading to the brush and enjoy nature. Very good suggestion. However for the novice outdoorsman, take a book on local flora. Rumor has it tha poison ivy abounds in these parts and while a nice natural wipe, has some uncomfortable after effects. http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/pilot/7871/#c_55616 http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/pilot/7871/#c_55616 Very good suggestion. However for the novice outdoorsman, take a book on local flora. Rumor has it tha poison ivy abounds in these parts and while a nice natural wipe, has some uncomfortable after effects. Never had that problem. Please forward book with "good" plants. Yours, Chief Heep Stinkem, Head of Never Wipe Tribe http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/pilot/7871/#c_55902 http://community.victoriaadvocate.com/home/Blog/pilot/7871/#c_55902 Never had that problem. Please forward book with "good" plants. Yours, Chief Heep Stinkem, Head of Never Wipe Tribe