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VISD Keeps Your Child’s Darkest Secrets
VISD Keeps Your Child’s Darkest Secrets
By: Toni Marek
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Thu Apr 10, 2008 00:35:12 CDT
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A little birdie told me something pretty interesting a couple of days ago.
A girl or boy, as young as 13 years old can go to her coach, teacher, counselor, or any school official and tell them that she is sexually active and needs help for a problem, but she doesn’t want her parents to know. The person she speaks with can then refer her to the nurse who then refers her to UTMB.
Once at UTMB, your child is able to get a battery of tests done, birth control, and a wealth of information about the “options” she can take for her “problems.”
Do you, as parents of students at VISD schools, know about this?
Your 13 year old daughter can go to her English teacher and tell her that she thinks she may be pregnant, have an STD, or just wants free birth control. Your daughter can then tell the teacher she doesn’t want her parents to know, and that teacher can’t tell anyone.
It has even been said that once referred to UTMB, young girls/boys are told they “should get a P. O. Box” to ensure any communication doesn’t fall into the hands of the parents.
SERIOUSLY?
I would like to know what you guys think of this. Do you have kids, relatives, friends that go to VISD? Did you know about this? Are you a student that has actually experienced this?
If you don’t want to comment publicly, please feel free to email me at toni_marek@yahoo.com
The aforementioned birdie told me that most parents have no clue this goes on, and it isn’t listed in the student’s handbook. I have nieces/nephews in VISD right now, and I can tell you one thing: Parents NEED to know what VISD and UTMB are doing.
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Sat Apr 26, 2008 01:09:58 CDT
Also - Red Rage: For the 100th time - it was not a birdie. I am so SORRY I ever used those words. If I would have known you would run it into the ground, I would have not used it. AGAIN - it was not a birdie. Someone has been trying to get an answer from VISD for over 6 months and has gotten no where. VISD will not answer anything, they only refer you to a lawyer who will not answer any questions.
I decided to write a blog to inform more people of what VISD is doing and how they handle questions about it.
Forgive me for trying to open people's eyes to things.
I forgot - we must all be sheep.
My apologies.
Sat Apr 26, 2008 01:04:57 CDT
I just want to respond to a few things...Bella - I am not "blowing up VISD's phone lines." And yes - they will not give me an answer. Why not? If this is legal and legit - why hide it?
I have said before and I will say it again: I am not for shutting this program down or after VISD or UTMB. I am FOR informing the parents that this type of service is offered to MINORS and children as young as 11 YEARS OLD.
You are wrong about parents knowing this program exists. The majority of parents do not know this is available. It is their right to know what is offered.
If someone was giving your child medication, wouldn't you want to know? What if your child is allergic to something, but doesn't know it because they are 11 years old and a CHILD. They do not tell UTMB or VISD, they are given something and they have a reaction. Something serious happens....
Who do you cry to about it?
Parents have a right to know that their CHILDREN can go to adults and ask for help to hide their sexual activity at 11 and 12 years old (because they are scared of getting in trouble) and they are aided in doing so by adults.
Mon Apr 21, 2008 17:33:24 CDT
I tried to read all the comments prior to posting but I was unable to, so if I repeat anything my apologies. First I agree that I wouldn't want someone encouraging my child to have sex at a young age. BUT it is also naive of me to believe that there isn't a good chance my child will have sex prior to marriage. Even with me expressing the importance of waiting. Now; is it better to 1. Preach abstinence and nothing else or 2. Preach abstinence as the best option but empower children with the knowledge they need to protect themselves from Pregnancy and STD's.
As a person who took sex ed in VISD abstinence was about the only thing taught. The topic of birth control and protection was not something skimmed over and dismissed in schools. VISD and all districts for that matter should be showing what STD's look like, what they do to your body and by all means show a live birth, the more difficult the better. Show them what Sex means.
I don't begin to think I have all the answers but if a student approached me, I would never turn them away. I would not be doing my job if I didn't go over all of their options; of course one being talk with your family.
Pregnancy rates have increased. But have we really been doing a good job with sex ed? Are parents having that embarrassing but important sex conversation with their children? I don't think so. I think most children hear; Don't have sex... and that's it. We must explain why. These children are mini-adults; they want to understand. I again don't pretend to have all the answers. I have many friend's whose parents did all the right things but they ended up pregnant anyway; I guess the best any of us can do is stay informed and keep up with what is going on it our childs life.
Personally when my child is old enough I will have that scary conversation with him and hope that he knows the lines of communications are always available; even if he needs condoms.
Fri Apr 18, 2008 18:50:50 CDT
Cool, we went from a "little birdie" rumor--to Hillary in one failed swoop. I grew up in a small town and can tell you--It can take a village. People watch out for each other. You act right 'cause someone will be watching.
Fri Apr 18, 2008 16:58:13 CDT
Hillary's and all her progressive's plan falling right in place. You don't need a mommy or daddy to raise the 14 year old's, you need a village. Let the village chief and elders decide what the teenager wants and needs.
Thu Apr 17, 2008 15:47:26 CDT
Red Rage,I had to comment on it. Thanks for understanding my side of the issue. And everyone can take this however they want, but look at the way this ToniAnne person is reacting to this. Parents like her are the reason why some students choose go to their teachers and leave them in the dark.
I think she should stop blowing up the phone at the VISD administrative office because I seriously doubt she will get an answer.
I also think this line in her blog was funny..Parents NEED to know what VISD and UTMB are doing.==NO parents need to know what there children are doing=
If a parent is that concerned about there student's sex life then take them to the family doctor...but oh wait...if the kid tells the doctor to say nothing to the parent then of course the doctor can't say anything either. And then what is a parent to do? This is a no win situation!
Wed Apr 16, 2008 16:51:17 CDT
Bella, I think its great we finally got an opinion from someone who actually used the service instead of the many people on here thinking they know what goes down. I think ToniAnne and her little "birdie" are barely finding out about this because they don't have kids old enough to be in school yet.
I think you hit all the major points that SouthTexas was aiming for.
Wed Apr 16, 2008 16:25:01 CDT
I went to school my whole life in Victoria, and the UTMB was a place that tons of guys and girls would go. I think that it was a good thing that students could go to the nurse and speak with them or get the number to the UTMB. Most of the time nobody would even go to the nurse and ask her, when I was in school you could just go into the clinic on your own without a referral, I know this because i did it and so did a ton of people. For some teens that were like me, it was just alot easier to go to the nurse or a teacher and talk about your problems, because we knew that they would not judge us. I would never have gone to my parents or my mother with this issue because I knew she would freak out, and being around her would've been embarrassing and uncomfortable. I eventually told my mother everything when I felt the time was right and she didn't react the way I thought she would, and she didn't agree with what I did behind her back but she understood, and after that I have been able to share everthing with her.
I think that it is so unbelievable that you and your little birdie are barely finding out about this. Almost every parent with a child in high school from at least the year 2000 has known about this, and it has never been an issue. I really don't think it is the schools problem if your daughter wants birth control, or son wants condoms. As a parent that is something that you should be on top of, my mom asked me all the time and I always lied and avoided the topic.
At least kids are going to an adult before they make an adult decision, and yes it is unfortunate that they do not go to their parents but ultimately it is your childs decision who they they share their private life with. Don't think that the school nurse, teachers, and nurses at the clinic don't try to convince the student to talk to their parents first, because they do, they did with me.
No matter how you look at there really isn't much you can do about it. Let's just say the school board develops a new rule that teachers and nurses have to call parents if their child comes to them with a problem about sex, then what? Do you really think that students will continue to go to them?
No, they will just go into the UTMB on their own, because the UTMB is not going to call any parents.
Wed Apr 16, 2008 12:26:57 CDT
Justme = Yes, VISD has a website that allows parents to log on and check their student's grades and attendance... the only problem is, it's only updated once a day.... and their automated phone calls at night informing the parents that their child was absent.... is a little after the fact....True story: My daughter was a sophmore at MHS. The last week in October, she was skipping the whole day of school. I would drop her off on the campus and she would leave to go meet her boyfriend. They'd spend the whole day together and he'd take her back in time to catch the bus home. When I got home, she would be on the phone and the recorded calls would come in and I'd know nothing about it.... On Thursday, I went to the school to surprise her with McDonalds for lunch... the surprise was on me.... she wasn't at school and hadn't been all week. You cannot imagine my panic! The school had no idea where she was or who she was with. So don't think that just because you drop your kid off at school, that's where they stay. There aren't enough security guards up there to prevent them from leaving campus if they want to. Back in December, I tried an experiement.... my neice is in college and is NOT on the list of adults who are allowed to check my kids out of school. I sent her to both MHS and PW to check my kids out of school for the day.... no one checked, no one called, no questions asked.... So don't think they are keeping up with your kid or safeguarding them!
Southtexas, I am glad to know there is someone out there who isn't afraid to bring these "lipstick parties" and "stew parties" out into the open..... There is a serious problem in Victoria! It's nationwide, I know, but I'm only concerned about Victoria.....
I don't have a problem with the school telling kids about safe sex, or letting them know about services offered thru UTMB or others.... I just wish that they would let the parents know, at the beginning of the school year, that those services are available and the school will make referrals to such.
Kids are sexually active. It's not something new, even though each generation thinks it was them who invented sex... And it doesn't matter how good or bad of a parent you are.... When they decide to have sex, they will. They need to learn to protect themselves against STD's though. And that should come from the parents.... Having a baby at 14, 15, or 16 isn't the end of the world... but contracting HIV or AIDS is deadly.
Wed Apr 16, 2008 11:53:54 CDT
you know, any child, younger than 14, by state law can not consent to having sex with anyone of any age. it's called "aggravated sexual assault of a child".so essentially, if a anyone is handing them condoms or birth control, they should reasonably be aware that a Sexual Assault has occured or will occur and they are doing absolutely nothing with that knowledge.
Tue Apr 15, 2008 20:25:39 CDT
Justmerightthere: I am not "out to get" anyone. What I am hoping is that VISD would inform the parents of the programs they offer. I have said that more than once here. The parents DESERVE to know what programs and services are offered to their children.
Tue Apr 15, 2008 19:29:00 CDT
ToniAnne.... it seems to me that you are really out to get VISD !VISD gives parents the ability to keep up with their child's grades and attendance. I know where my child is during the day, after school and at night !
If parents do not know that their children have an opportunity to go out and have sex then maybe something more should be done at home. They are saving their future and I pray that my children are able to come to me with any circumstance they face.
Parents are not aware of such a program....
Parents do not know where their kids are...
Parents blame the school for their kids actions !!
Parents need to be so far up their kids A** that you can not tell where the kid ends and the parent begins !!
Mon Apr 14, 2008 18:50:38 CDT
I am astounded that there are parents that think these programs "give a free pass to have sex." Don't you understand?....if your kid becomes involved in any of these programs, asks for help from any of these sources, THEY ARE ALREADY HAVING SEX!!....they are having unprotected sex....they are having dangerous sex.....they might as well be playing in the middle of traffic....but you people don't want to protect them? I do not understand this type of thinking....it puzzles and amazes me.
Anyone who does anything that keeps my child from having an unwanted baby or contracting a potentially life threatening disease....I would shower with thanks and appreciation....It's like saying...."Oh you saved my child's life and prevented her from becoming a parent at 14...I am so angry with you and I am going to see that you pay!!" Does that make sense to anyone?
Like I have said several times before...Most of you who are posting here are concerned parents, hopefully informed of the extent of this problem, aware of the peer pressure to be sexually active that is put on young people today....and will talk honestly and openly early, very early, age 11 or 12 at least with your children, and they will have no need to avail themselves of these services.
However there are a whole lot of young people out there whose parents are naive, self absorbed, or just don't care....some of them are not even bad parents, they are just not "with the program".
Know what your kids are doing, if this means snooping, then snoop. As Bill Cosby says, "This is my house....I am the parent.....you have no rights."
My kids used to swear I was omnipotent. My daughter once asked me why other parents never caught on to their adolescent indiscretions, i.e. sneaking out to pasture parties, going out of town when they were not supposed to, etc. I explained, that everything she was trying to get by with I had tried only I had been much better at it. Kids now days are awful liers....I had to be a really good lier, my mother and dad WERE OMNIPOTENT!
It is not easy staying on top of a teenager...it takes a lot of work and sweat and snooping, and detective work that would put Perry Mason to shame...and then you spend hours, talking and playing Dr. Phil. Not lecturing, talking, letting them know that you know and understand the pressures they are facing, and that you love them and no matter what they say, no matter what they confess, that you love and support them.
As a result my children came to me with their temptations...and often brought their friends. That is the only bad part of being open, truthful, and not pious and condescending with your teenagers....you are going to get other people's kids coming with their problems. Thank God in every case where my daughter or son would drag in troubled kids, I talked and begged and pleaded and convinced the kids to go to their own parent to talk about whatever the problem was, and believe me there were instances where the problems were not small and insignificant, and there were two times where I went with the child to talk to their parents.
If you stick your head in the sand and think your children are never going to face a temptation they cannot resist...then go ahead and codnemn these programs that are saving kids lives. But for pete's sake don't blame the programs for your child's sexual activity.....blame the sexual environment that has become such a part of our culture...the internet....movies....T.V....observing the behavior of the adults around them. Doing what I say and not what I do just goes so far. Blame all of these things but don't blame programs that try to prevent unwanted pregnancy and disease in those kids that are aleady sexually active.
Educate yourself....have any of you heard of "lipstick parties"....that's the latest thing among the young teens and even preteens I understand. I can't explain what it is here, but if you don't know cruise the net, I am sure you will find out.
Also "pill parties"...."stew parties"....that's where everyone steals some of their parents prescriptions medications, they are all put in a bowl and the kids pick a few pills and see what kind of result they get. Talk about dangerous.
In my day it was Toga parties and trashcan punch....also dangerous, but not as dangerous as what the kids today are doing.
How can anyone condemn something that is aimed at saving our children's lives??? I really do not get it!!!
Mon Apr 14, 2008 18:00:13 CDT
Sure glad my kids are not going to school anymore with people wanting programs to keep going that don't work. Strange, they help some but hurt more and that's good. Good liberal thought I guess.
Mon Apr 14, 2008 17:46:14 CDT
There you go......you say its kids having kids having kids, etc....obviously these people haven't figured out how babies are made or just don't care. This program can potentially end that cycle of these kids having kids. If YOU parent your child then your child will not need to seek out this program & unless your child goes to them they will not come to your child. So as long as YOU parent YOUR child, you have nothing to worry about.
Mon Apr 14, 2008 17:32:08 CDT
I'll tell y'all why: kids having kids having kids having kids. It is an endless cycle of ignorance and laziness. People in their 30s are already grandparents... that is a shame! Yes, some parents do not do their job and PARENT their kids. But I do not want the schools, clinics or the government giving my child a free pass to have sex. Yes, it is my resposibility to talk with my child and maintain that open line of honesty and communication. But that doesn't give anyone else the right to step in and give my child access to SOME things, i.e. condoms, the morning after pill. My child is still UNDERAGE.
Mon Apr 14, 2008 17:10:05 CDT
I guess what we need to figure out is why our kids are becoming so sexually active at such young ages these days. I know there have always been a few who were 13 or so, but these days it's more than a few! Unless we want to start slipping our sons salt peter & confining our daughters in chastity belts, we need to make sure our kids are protected. I don't think any of us parents are excited about our 13 yrr old having sex & I'm sure that the majority of us would stop it if we could, but I don't think any parent would want their childs life lost to HIV, hepatitis, or want to start raising their 13 yr olds baby either. My knee jerk reaction to this being handled in school is Hell NO but it's not like it is being pushed on the students or advertised. They aren't handing out flyers encouraging the students to participate in sexual activities, it seems like it is a last resort for kids who have no other place to turn. Those are the kids that desperately need this kind of program.
Mon Apr 14, 2008 16:14:23 CDT
Preach on SouthTexas! I am in agreement with you :)
Mon Apr 14, 2008 14:58:59 CDT
No it is not the government's job....it is the parent's job. However....that is in a perfect world and there is no perfect world. Right now in Texas about 40% of the babies are born out of wedlock, and about the same percentage or slightly more are born receiving Medicaid benefits. It is pretty obvious that there are parents that are not doing their job.
One out of every four young women under the age of 20 has a STD...at least one STD...some more than one. It is obvious that some parents are not doing their job.
And these statistics are with the pregnancy prevention, safe sex programs in place. The fact is that many kids are scared of going to their parents AND are scared of going to anyone outside to get protection or help or advice. Something has to be done and the programs that you guys are bitching about are not helping that much but at least are helping some, and you want to get rid of them.
Mon Apr 14, 2008 12:18:36 CDT
IT'S NOT THEIR JOB! That is the bottom line. How can a government hold you responsible for your underage child's actions if they on the other hand are undermining you?You cannot hand over the job to the government then again complain about what they are doing. I understand society has many problems that are causing this but handing it over to them sure ain't going to cure it, it is causing it. Don't give them another program to screw it up some more. The government answer's to you, not you to them. GEEEZZZZZ!!
Mon Apr 14, 2008 11:41:59 CDT
Toni you just really don't get it. Giving kids condoms is not encouraging them to have sex. If the child has decided to be sexually active, they are going to have sex anyway, with or without condoms. The condoms are just keeping them from getting pregnant or contracting an STD. Keeping them from turning the mistake of becoming sexually active into a bigger mistake....having a baby or getting HIV. How can you consider preventing disease and pregnancy as "enabling" your child to have sex.. When these kids are given condoms or whatever, they are talked to and counseled. There is no encouraging anyone to have sex. The kids that show up there are already having sex....do you really think a 13 or 14 year old thinks ahead enough to get the birth control before they have already had sex. Not many.
You are obviously one of those parents who would rather see your child pregnant or with HIV than to think that you don't know everything your child does. I hate to tell you this....but parents are never going to know everything their kids do. I know my mom certainly didn't know everything I did..
When it became obvious to me that my son was at the age where he was thinking with the wrong head.....we had a long talk. It started with sex and relationships....how sex without love was meaningless and dangerous and that kids his age were not able to handle the emotions and the responsibilities that go with have sexual relations. Then we talked about responsibility....that I did not believe in abortion and that there would be no money coming from me to go for an abortion....then we talked about how if he did get someone pregnant he would be a father and he would have to be financially responsible for his child, and if that resulted in him having to sell everything he owned....his car, his stereo, every video game... then that is what would happen....and of course he could no longer play sports since he would be working to support this baby he had created. The talk ended by telling him that there was no reason in this day and age for anyone to get pregnant. If he needed condoms, then write it on the grocery list on the fridge and they would be in his room the next day....no lecture given. That is what happened, and thank God, no unwanted pregnancies, no STD's.
Everyone here acts like this is something new. These programs have been around for a long time. They are public health programs and they are, in my opinion, one of the few things the government has done right.
Mon Apr 14, 2008 11:23:27 CDT
Did y'all know that the Health Dept will give anyone condoms whom walks in the door and asks for them.They also will test anyone for HIV & STD's if needed.It's all confidential and the age doesn't matter.You just walk on in or call to make an appointment.No adult supervision is needed.
I don't see this as a bad thing.Truth is children do not tell there parents everything especially when it comes to having sex.I'd rather my child go to someone else like a nurse if she felt like she couldn't come to me.
As for someone else making a decision for a child such as UTMB,I disagree.Usually the teens that are there have already made a dumb decision on there own and need advice and counseling on what to do next so it won't happen again.Everyone knows right from wrong and to blame a nurse,utmb or anyone else for a kids actions is wrong in my opinion.
Mon Apr 14, 2008 11:04:37 CDT
I believe this is totally wrong! I am the parent of a 13-year-old girl attending middle school in VISD. I cannot fathom anyone thinking the actions of the school or the clinic/office in question (UTMB) would be appropriate. They have no right making any decisions regarding my child. If a girl were to come out pregnant because of the actions of the school administration or UTMB, are they going to be footing the bills or raising the baby? No! Parents will... I am doing everything possible to ensure my child does not become a statistic and it seems like VISD and UTMB are going in the reverse direction by possibly keeping parents in the dark.
Mon Apr 14, 2008 09:06:51 CDT
I agree with the pregnancy thing but sex ed is not the answer. I mean all it is is teaching the kids how to do it and telling them it is okay as long as you do this. Well, all indicators say it is not.
Sun Apr 13, 2008 19:26:05 CDT
South Texas - I want to reiterate that my goal here is to make sure that the parents who DO care about their kids, and are doing everything they can - KNOW about this.If the school wants to be able to ENABLE my child to have sex because they are "scared" of getting grounded for disobeying - then I want to know they have that power.
That is what this boils down to. The school does not have the RIGHT or AUTHORITY to provide such a service behind the parent's back. This is what they are doing now.
What happens when a child goes to a trusted adult and says something and that adult happens to take advantage of that power?
Then who will be griping and suing the school?
The same people who wanted this program to begin with.
The parents HAVE A RIGHT to know what the school is LETTING their children do.
Kids are always going to be scared of their parents or getting in trouble.
When you hold their hand, and say, "Don't worry, honey - we won't tell your parents," - you are just like a drug dealer handing a kid his first taste of drugs.
VISD is enabling these kids to have sex. They are LETTING the kids have sex behind their parents back and giving pills, condoms, and abortion clinic's phone numbers.
This is not RIGHT.
Sat Apr 12, 2008 23:10:58 CDT
You are so right....the government can't do it...but the parents AREN'T doing it and as much as I am against government involvement, I still believe every kid needs to have somewhere to go when they get themselves in a jam and they can't count on the parents.Let's don't blame higher pregnancy rates on anything other than the fact that there is no longer any social stigma attached to being pregnant out of wedlock...in fact it is the thing to do. In some families this is the third or 4th generation where Momma wasn't married. And many times these young girls actually TRY to get pregnant.
There are a whole lot of good parents out there but let's face it....there are a whole lot more who do not teach their children respect for authority or responsibility for their actions....and there are a lot of parents who are just plain ABSENT!
Sat Apr 12, 2008 20:35:34 CDT
Well then just turn your kids over to the state, that is what they want anyway. Sex ed is evidently not working too good, many more percentage pregnancies than 40 years ago, more STD's, more drug use, war on drugs ain't working. Gee, all these wonderful guvmint programs, billions of dollars spent and guess what, it just keeps getting worse. So let's keep doing nothing but give them an a-okay and help them on there merry way.
Sat Apr 12, 2008 11:18:58 CDT
sandwich....you miss the whole point.....THERE IS NO ONE THAT IS GOING TO PUT THEM IN REHAB BECAUSE THERE IS NO ONE THAT KNOWS THEY ARE DOING DRUGS.They are not going to go to anyone who is going to tell their parents.....they will go to the drug exchange if they know it is confidential....if it is not confidential then they will not go!!! Do you really think that not giving them the clean needle will keep them from using....if so then you have never been around addicts. They will still do the drugs, and you are right, the next hit may be bad stuff and the drug may kill them, but they will do it whether you give them clean needles or not. They will reuse needles or use their friend's needles, and they will die, from the drug perhaps....or more likely from the HIV, or HepC.
They will go to UTMB to get condoms if they know it is confidential....if it is not confidential they will not go!!!! Don't you understand. If these kids have even an inkling that someone is going to go to their parents....either school counselors.....UTMB.....clean needle exchange (which I don't think we even have in this city).....they will not go.
Their secret will remain a secret they will continue to have sex; they will continue to use drugs; and they will get pregnant or get HIV. It is as simple as that.
Stopping these programs WILL WITHOUT A DOUBT cause pregnancies....cause the delivery of premature infants because of no prenatal care....cause STD's.....cause HIV, cause Hep C. But some people are so self absorbed and pious that they don't care....the kids deserve these horrible things....they don't deserve the help.
As I have said before, most of the people who are posting on here will never have this problem because they will keep the lines of communication open, be aware of what their kids are doing and it will never get to the point where their kids will have to go to anyone outside the family.
But what if you miss something....what if your sexually active 14 year old could have prevented that STD with a condom that she could not get because people are irrational in their thinking about such things. If it happens then the people who condemn and stop these programs are directly responsible.
Sat Apr 12, 2008 10:55:32 CDT
RedRage: As I posted on the OTHER blog where you commented: Using the term "little birdie" wasn't the best choice of words. I wanted to keep the source confidential, and I chose those words... note taken - I won't do that in the future.Yes. This information is true (even about the PO BOX thing). UTMB will also give your child the Plan B pill (as many times as they need it). My two cents about that: That pill hasn't been around long enough to do conclusive tests as to what it may cause in the future, yet your kids are allowed to have it (without your knowledge) as many times as they want.
These are facts not rumors.
I will comment Monday if VISD Admin decides to take my call and answer my questions.
Sat Apr 12, 2008 09:48:59 CDT
ToniAnne,Have you called VISD to see if this is true? Don't rely on little birdies...that is how rumors start.
I'm curious to know what VISD says. Let us all know when you find out.
Sat Apr 12, 2008 04:36:44 CDT
Okay, here you are my child. Another bullet for you gun since you missed the other times.Nobody, NOBODY, has a right to give any 13 year old child a needle to us illegal, non prescribed to them. That is like giving something else to kill themselve's with. The next batch of drugs they buy may not be a good mixture.
If you have a 13 year old child that is using illegal drugs you put them in a drug rehab program that fits their need, even if it takes a long time to fix it. That is how you save their life hooked on drugs I would think.
Fri Apr 11, 2008 23:41:21 CDT
ToniAnn.....your analogy with drugs and alcohol is flawed. Yes, if a kid is doing drugs and sharing needles and he shows up at a "safe needle exchange site", safe meaning confidential, asking for clean needles then yes, he should be given a clean needle in exchange for his dirty ones. Is that encouraging him to use drugs....NO....IT IS PREVENTING HIM FROM GETTING A DEADLY DISEASE FROM DIRTY NEEDLES.
Does this kid deserve to die because he is addicted? Because he is addicted should he be punished by being left no other option other than using dirty needles? That way of thinking is crazy.
Granted the best option would be for him to go to someone and to get help and to get in Rehab and get straight. But at this moment in time that is not going to happen so let's try to keep the kid alive and HIV free until he can get to the point of being cured of his addiction. Needle exchange programs all do counseling with the exchange....
No they do not give them $20 for more drugs....that is a silly thing to even think much less say.
We are talking about saving lives here. But I guess there are those that would rather see an addicted kid dead than to "encourage" their drug use by giving them disease free needles. That is INSANE and UNRATIONAL thinking. Cutting off your nose to spite your face!
Fri Apr 11, 2008 23:28:55 CDT
Calm down t-storm....stop and give it some thought. Perhaps my background in healthcare makes me a little more aware of what actually goes on with our young people.If you are a parent who keeps lines of communication open none of this will ever apply to you.
So your 14 year old daughter is sexually active. She does not feel she can talk to you as her parent and will not under any circumstances talk to you about her need for birth control....you feel the answer is not to provide her with at the very least condoms and some instruction and advice about the dangers of sexual activity at her age.
Instead you will just let her get pregnant and then you as a parent find out when she is already showing so that it cannot be missed. By this time she is probably in her 5th or 6th month, has had no prenatal care, probably has been starving herself and taking laxatives so you will not know she is pregnant, endangering her baby? Is that the road to take....and that is if you are lucky. I have seen young girls try to perform their own abortions, runaway and end up on the streets...all because they are so afraid of what will happen if they go to their parents, and because there is no where else to go and no one else to go to.
Think about it....I have seen it and it is not pretty.
Fri Apr 11, 2008 21:46:54 CDT
As a mother it honestly doesn't sit well with me that my child, and at age 13 we are talking child, can go to someone else with personal issues that involve sexual activity and then actually get medication or preventive prescriptions without my knowledge. However when we agree to let our lawmakers make blanket laws about things such as "the privacy act" we often open ourselves up for way more than we bargin for as in instances like this. That said...as a teacher and someone who has spent many, many years working with kids...I do agree that there are many kids out there who need a place to go for answers or help that they either can't or feel they can't get at home. There are as many different ways of parenting as there are parents, and while some are able to be very open, direct, and in tune with the reality that sex is an issue that will more likely than not come up in their child's teen years...there are those who choose to believe that their child won't. This is obvious in the many differences of opinions that parents have when it comes to the subject of if, what, and how much if any of sex education should be taught in schools. Religion is important, and abstinence should be the first lesson in sexual education, but to stop there is not fair to any child because it is not the reality of probability. Sex is a biological fact of purbety and purbety a biological occurence in adolescent teens, mixed with peer pressure, emotions that are new and often misunderstood, and the right chance, any child, no matter how religious and no matter what they have been taught, can find themselves in trouble. Parents who think that their child will not waver because of what their parents have engrained in them are not in touch with reality...kids are kids and kids make bad choices all the time...even when they know it is wrong. It is not just a matter of an unwanted pregnancy anymore. When there are kids having babies in school bathrooms and then trying to flush the baby down the toilet, or babies that have been found in garbage dumpsters, closets, and the like...it is obvious that some kids don't have the information, education, or support they needed in a time of crisis. When there are rapists, child molesters, and scum like this in almost every corner of society today including cops, teachers, doctors, and clergy, our children need to know what is out there and how to protect themselves. When one bad choice in the heat of a stolen moment can cost our children their health, and even their lives, they need to be educated. Parents should be the first line of defense, and should also be the open door for their children to come to in a crisis, without fear of retrebution or punishment. Sadly not all kids have this kind of relationship with their parents...and for these kids this is a great place to get guidance, support, and help. I am with others here...I think we should be more upset about allowing our public schools to fund daycare for the children of students. While finishing their education is very important...especially if we don't want an increase in welfare recipients...but teaching kids basic knowledge of sex and advocating abstinence then providing them with daycare...seems a little bit hypocritical. Parents, be open with your kids, be real with them even when you teach them the aspects of your religious beliefs, know what they are doing and who their friends are...even if you have to snoop, most importantly be their parent, a listener, their advisor, their protector, they have enough friends and friends are not who they will turn to when they are in a crisis.
Fri Apr 11, 2008 20:24:00 CDT
I have mixed feelings about this being a parent of a now adult child. If some teacher had taken it upon his/herself to make any kind of decision or even offered any such advice such as these drastic measures, I would have been at the school kicking a$$ & taking names! But also being the parent of a now adult child I do understand how some kids don't feel like they can be open with their own parents. I was lucky, my daughter, though she did attempt, was unable to keep her mouth shut (thank goodness) & I knew what was going on with her & her friends. I was able to have discussions about things with them without them really realizing what I was doing. When they would come to me with some specific issue I would advise them as I would have advised my own...proceed with extreme caution, talk to your mom & if it was something that I considered significant I would tell them they either would HAVE to tell their parents or I would (no suggestion there it was MANDATORY!). I was fortunate with my childs friends also, as they trusted me, they did confide in me & I talked to them as I would & did my own, no judgement, loving, concerned & realistic. My girls who basically lived at my house every weekend for 6 years are all doing extremely well in college, level headed & have their lives heading in the direction they originally set out for themselves. I am proud of each & every one of them & love them all as if they were my own. I guess we were all lucky. Unfortunately there are kids who are not so lucky to have an "adopted or extended" family to turn to who also need the same help & guidance. I am just not exactly comfortable with teachers who may no very little about the student or their family situation advising these kids on such serious matters without bringing in the parents. I would think if a student came to me as a teacher with something as serious as a pregnancy or STD I would be very uncomfortable advising anything other than them talking to a parent & offering to set up a meeting with the student, counselor, parent to at least ensure the initial reaction by the parent could not get too out of hand & then offering the parents (adults) the choices of UTMB & so forth. I could not in good conscious play parent to a student I may no little or nothing about & how my advice/recommendations may later be regretted by student & possibly come back to really haunt me. Those issues should be left up to the responsible legal parent/guardian to make, not me.
Fri Apr 11, 2008 19:52:32 CDT
Bcat and Southtexas...Are you saying that it's OK for someone other than the parents to make decisions directly affecting a family without their consent or knowledge? This someone, may have known the child for less than a week.
I am appauld that anyone would feel like they could do that, regardless of the number of psychology degrees they hold.
Without knowing the child or the family history or anything this family has done or been through, they think they are able to make "sound" decisions about them???
I DID NOT KNOW THIS COULD HAPPEN!
Who the HE&& are these people that they would even dare to step over this boundry, that I have always considered extremely sacred???
Never in my friggin life!!!!
Fri Apr 11, 2008 15:51:52 CDT
I understand the views of the people that say the kids need someone to go to. Some of you also say that they are "going to do it anyway, why not at least give them some protection?"Well, how about handing them a beer at school and as protection giving them a Tylenol for the headache and a safe ride home. They are going to drink anyway, why not give them someone to go to when they are "scared" of their parents grounding them.
How about when a teen is scared that her parents might ground or yell at her for shooting up heroine? We don't want them to be scared, so since they are going to do it anyway, let's give them a clean needle and $20.
This is the same mentality some of you have. You wouldn't want an adult or school official to hide your child's drug and alcohol activity, so why would you be ok with them hiding their sexual activity?
You can bet that if a child went and told their teacher that they were binge drinking and doing cocaine, but were scared of getting in trouble with their parents, VISD wouldn't give these kids more drugs and alcohol in private.
By allowing and providing YOUR CHILDREN with a safe haven to get free "protection" to have unbridled amounts of sex without the parent's knowledge is no different.
Fri Apr 11, 2008 12:43:55 CDT
Todays youth need all the help and guidence they can get. It's comforting to know children have adults to go to in crisis when they feel they have no one else.
Fri Apr 11, 2008 11:06:23 CDT
I doubt that these young kids are just handed condoms and told to go their own way. I have had some dealing with UTMB and you can bet that they get some counseling and instruction from the physicians and the nurse practitioners there. So what do you want....they won't go to their parents so they just sit at home....pregnant, hiding it....until they give birth and leave the baby in a dumpster somewhere.....and if you think the parents are going to notice....maybe sometime. But believe me I have seen too many 15-16 year olds show up in the E.R. ready to deliver and mom and dad don't know a thing.Parents always get in an uproar about these things....but then so many of them don't pay enough attention to their children to even know when they are sexually active, doing drugs, going to sex parties.
Most of you who are responding have nothing to worry about. Your kids are not the ones that will feel the need to use these services. And the more you do to make sure of that by talking openly and honestly about sex and by making birth control available, the better.
Fri Apr 11, 2008 10:56:22 CDT
I think that's been the policy for long time. I remember being able to get condoms from school when I was at Memorial back in the early `90s.
Fri Apr 11, 2008 10:45:22 CDT
I see now why so many families here are forgoing their summer vacations and expensive cars so that they can afford private school for their kids. But it is a tough call, because I do believe that some children would be in physical danger if their parents were notified about any number of things they'd confided to a teacher or school official.
Fri Apr 11, 2008 09:43:50 CDT
I would be furious if I found out that another adult had enabled my child's sexual activity by giving him condoms or giving her a pill. Of course teens don't want their parents to know when they are planning or engaging in activities that will lead to pregnancy or diseases. Parents can take away the keys, cell phone, television, computer, and other privileges that might discourage, make it hard to engage, and may even limit those WRONG activities! If the parents don't know all the facts how can they effectively parent?
Fri Apr 11, 2008 09:23:24 CDT
The latest data from the Youth Risk Behavior Survey (YRBS), http://www.cdc.gov/HealthyY... of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), http://www.cdc.gov/, indicates that more teens are delaying having sex today than they were over ten years ago. Here are some key results from this 2003 survey that covered 29 states, including Nevada:• 46.7% of all high school students reported having had sexual intercourse. This represents a 13.7% decrease from 1991 (see Figure 1).
• 14.4% of all high school students reported having had 4 or more sexual partners in their lives – a 23% decrease from 1991.
• 45.4% of Nevada high school girls reported having had intercourse, which ranked the Silver State 14th highest in the nation.
• 4.2% of high school girls polled in Nevada reported that their first intercourse experience was before the age of 13 – the 7th highest rate in the U.S.
• 16.6% of girls in the Silver State reported that they had already had 4 or more sexual partners – the 3rd highest rate in the country.
The 2003 YRBS statistics for Nevada high school girls were not broken down by ethnoracial characteristics, but the national statistics on teen sexual activity and ethnicity in high school girls were as follows:
• 43% of Caucasian, 61% of African-American, and 46% of Hispanic girls had had sexual intercourse.
• 3% of Caucasian, 7% of African-American, and 5% of Hispanic girls had had their first intercourse experience before the age of 13.
• 10% of Caucasian, 16% of African-American, and 11% of Hispanic girls had had 4 or more sexual partners.
• In the 1950’s, less than a third of first births to teen mothers were conceived out of wedlock.
• By the 1980’s, close to two-thirds of all Caucasian teen mothers were unmarried when they became pregnant.
• And almost all (97%) of African American teen mothers were single at the time of conception in the 1980’s.
http://www.unlv.edu/centers...
Fri Apr 11, 2008 08:33:11 CDT
Your children can also be taken off campus or pulled out of class and questioned without your permission and without your knowledge. That happened to my gal-pal. My "birdie." LOL (BTW there was no abuse to be found but it still was very alarming to me. What if her children had been in a car wreck. She wouldn't even know that they were off campus. I was also concerned with abuse while they were in the care of other adults. You don't even have the right to drive them yourself or to be there when they are questioned because they DON'T TELL THE PARENTS. This was not VISD.)
Fri Apr 11, 2008 00:29:27 CDT
As with so many other things, we are funding the behavior that is destroying our Communities and Nation.
Thu Apr 10, 2008 23:51:10 CDT
I want to add that my goal here is to see how many parents know that this goes on.UTMB will also give your 12-13 year old daughter the “morning after pill.”
I can understand that some kids need a place to go because their parents don’t care or aren’t there, but there are a lot more kids with parents who do care and don’t know this kind of program is out there.
I agree – it is the parent’s responsibility to keep lines of communication open with their kids about these things. My problem comes with the fact that some girls are getting free birth control (that is being paid for by the taxpayers). When they are just given condoms, the pill, and the “morning after” pill so flippantly, it really makes a person question what is really going on?
I don’t care what profession I was in – if a young girl came to me and told me she was sexually active, she may be pregnant, and she thinks that she has an STD, I most definitely WOULD NOT give her free birth control and send her on her way.
I see that some of you think this is needed because the kids need a place to go if they are scared and someone to trust. How are they being helped when they are handed free birth control and addresses to the nearest abortion clinics?
Why isn’t there a pause somewhere in there for the KIDS? Why aren’t they sent to someone who can tell them the dangers of having sex at such an emotionally immature age, instead of being handed a pill sent on their way?
Again – I think there should be something in the handbook about this type of program and a note/letter/information sent to the parents with the first report card, or something of the like. The parents have a right to know what steps are taken when their kids confide in adults at their school.
If my child was too scared to talk to me for some reason, I would hope that when they did talk to someone, they were talked to about what they were doing, and not just given some pills and pamphlets.
SCOUT – Can you please email me at toni_marek@yahoo.com ?
Thanks.
Thu Apr 10, 2008 23:39:08 CDT
It's kind of a sad thing....but having a place to go when a kid feels like he cannot go to his parents HAS to be a good thing. There are children who are so fearful of physical harm that they don't dare go to their parents. The nurses and UTMB are just providing what the child is asking for and NEEDS.....it is not like they are recruiting children to be sexually active....it is just a fact that when you are young you sometime do stupid things and you may need some help.
The secret is to open up a line of communication about sex at an early age and keep it open....You don't have to advocate sexual activity when you talk about it, but don't be a prude either. I did that and both my kids came to me with problems and even brought their friends.
Thu Apr 10, 2008 22:15:24 CDT
I disagree (with the article). I am in education, not in visd, but you need to have some confidentiality. Students need someone they trust to talk to about these things and sadly it's not always the parent. Going to a teacher or nurse about an std or other sexually related topics is no different than the child coming to the teacher about alleged abuse. The teacher must keep the child's best interest at heart. We are here for the students, not parents. While I would always encourage my students to talk to their family, I would also do whatever I could to assist them in making an informed decision if they felt they were in danger from their family or were unable to discuss such things with their parents. The solution to this problem can be very simple. Parents need to engage their children in a dialogue about sex, options, expectations, and feelings. The unknown can lead kids to do some very stupid things. This is my opinion as a parent and teacher.
Thu Apr 10, 2008 13:38:19 CDT
That's tough. To be honest I am conflicted. I have a young son in elementary and a teenage daughter in high school. While I hate the thought that either one would feel that they can't talk to me about such issues and would rather tell a teacher, I would also hate for them to get AIDS or become pregnant (or impregnate someone) simply because they didn't talk to SOMEONE who could help them. I guess my opinion lies in that we need to do our best to instill good values and morals in our youth and try to mantain good communication so they will come to us if/when they have questions or needs. It is very scary though. I wish that if the students did talk to the teachers about it that the result would be a session or something with parents and student and a counselor who can help with opening the lines of communication to help all involved.
Thu Apr 10, 2008 08:33:40 CDT
When you deal w/ minors you open a can of worms. As for VISD this one area is probably tough. The day cares they have keep the school as equal opportunities to all and no kid left behind issues covered. Its a tough job to keep schools for education only. If you will. Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA) is a federal act that VISD probably has very little training on. I guarantee most parents have never heard it. Look it up. There is privacy issues and rights that all have. It's not for us to interpret what we think with this act.
Now with UTMB it now is a medical client privilege topic. Maybe the two entities need to discuss what is needed to be said as to what kids are entitled too. But if they child goes there, UTMB they probably fall under their guidelines. Parents doing a bad job as parents have led to these measures. Who is right or wrong? We all pay for this.
Try the new MHS PTO. See it they can mediate on this.
If the family environment is dysfunctional the kid knows. They see it. I would not blame VISD but society.
This kind of goes with it. Graduation is coming up. We all know there are parties already going on. Parents go out of town. Older sibling stays home. Guess what?? There's a party at that house.
best of luck
Talk to your kid(s). Ask what's up in thier lives. Know their friends.
hope this helped.