I was changing purses this weekend and I found a card from Craig. It came with the Valentine roses he sent me this year. It said, “Happy Valentine’s Day, Cutie! I love you more!!” It brought the big crocodile tears to my eyes. That was always the little dialogue between us –
Craig: I love you. Alisa: I love you more. Craig: Not possible. Alisa: Way possible! Then we’d both laugh at how silly and corny we were.
It’s been about 7 weeks since Craig went to Heaven and I think about him every single day. Sometimes it hits me so hard that he’s not here anymore, I can hardly stand it. Then there are days when I feel his free spirit all around me, filling my heart with happiness. There’s really nothing anyone can do or say to make things better, but all of the love and support everyone has expressed really helps a tremendous amount!
I get a chuckle when I run into people I haven’t seen in a while and they ask me how I’m doing. I always give my stock answer, “I’m fine.” Maybe they see the look in my eyes or maybe I wear my heart on my sleeve, but they always come back with one eyebrow cocked and ask, “How are you really doing?” Then come the crocodile tears again.
Ok, most days I really am doing fine, but when someone asks me that question, it just reminds me that Craig and his story touched so many hearts and lives. It brings tears to my eyes just knowing that I was a part of something so significant. I’m happy that people are aware of what happened to him and I love the fact that people care enough to ask me how I’m doing. I think we’re all handling things in our own way. I just try to stay very busy and see the kids as much as I can. They are great! We have a ton of laughs when we get together. They always put a smile on my face and remind me that life is very precious.
If you see me out and about, don’t be afraid to ask me how I’m doing. Just have a tissue ready. LOL!! I know the road ahead is full of bumps, but it’s also jam-packed with wonderful things that will brighten my days and remind me of how much Craig loved life. I continue receiving gifts from him in ways I never imagined. Erica Rodriguez asked me once, “What is it about Craig that you love the most?” My reply was simply, “He fills me up (with his love and happiness).”
I’m convinced that Craig was put on this earth to do great things. Even though he is no longer with us, his greatness lingers. I feel it in my heart and I see it in his children.
Some friends of Craig’s are organizing a Benefit BBQ on October 30th to raise money for Tanner and Bailey’s education fund. Their labor and efforts are purely out of love. An event flyer is attached. Please pass the word along and join us for some great food and fellowship!
I will keep blogging and updating everyone as much as I can. Thanks for the love and support!
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